The Power of Vocabulary...

Reason number 253 why my son rocks:

Walking home Monday, a group of large sixth graders (meaning they were bigger than my son, who is a five foot tall 7th grader) tried to involve the Impossible Son in a fight by calling him names.

"Hey, faggot!!"

He stopped, frowned, and looked at them.  "Why are y'all calling me a bunch of sticks?  I know I'm skinny, but duuuuuude..."

They stared at him and said, "Wait... what?"

"That's what faggot means.  It's a bunch of sticks."

"No, it doesn't!" one of them said in disbelief while the rest stood there with their mouths hanging open.

"Yeah, it does," he said over his shoulder as he started walking away.  "Look it up in the dictionary."

He said by the time their brains finished processing it and they were able to move again, he was too far ahead of them to even bother.

And just in case you were wondering...

faggot or esp  ( US ) fagot 1  (ˈfæɡət)
— n
1.	a bundle of sticks or twigs, esp when bound together and used as fuel

This is what happens when you read fairy tales to your kids when they're little.  

Heh heh heh...

Because Neil DeGrasse Tyson is Awesome...

There! I feel better, don't you?

*grumblemumblemutter*

This stupid window has been sitting open for... I don't want to say how long, while I wait to think of something to write, because... I'm apparently in vapor-lock.

That and I'm waiting for Miss Impertinent's Athletics clothes to dry, because... all weekend to wash them and she brought them to me this morning.

Now, normally, I'd have told her, "Wear them one more day and we'll wash them tonight," but when my eyes are watering just from being in the same vicinity... it's time to wash them. And no need to make her fellow athletes suffer, right?

Or her coach, whom I happen to like...

So, yeah, they're drying and I'll bag 'em up and take them to the school in the next hour because I'm a sucker for big, grey Bambi eyes.

And then there's the fact that... the Impossible Son may or may not be going through his first... crush... and may or may not have a wee bit of a girl friend...

Yes, that's a very bad photo from my Blackberry, which normally takes very good photos, but at that moment, I was a bit... wobbly. And trying to be sneaky. Here's a very slightly better one:

Yes, she's on his soccer team. In fact, she was on his soccer team last season, and they fought like ... well... like... um... Hepburn and Tracy...

Yeah, should have seen that one coming, right? I'm expecting phone calls or something to start soon. I don't know. The Husbandly One is, of course, vastly amused. That's enough to fry my brain right there, you know?

After I take Miss Priss her soccer togs, I'll probably take the laptop out onto the back porch and try to do some writing. Or work on some jewelry. Or do some mending. Something where I can be outside, because I really don't feel like gardening today.

Or maybe I'll just take a nap. We'll see.

Late to the party again...

I am such a ditz sometimes.

I SWEAR I'm not blonde.

Okay, how long have I had this iMac? Two years? What did I only figure out today?

There's this little button that I've noticed for quite some time that appears in the address bar when I'm reading fic or news stories, etc. It says, "Reader."

Today was the first time I've been curious enough to click it. And what happened?

This new page popped up with the font now a very comfortable size for reading, no more distracting items in the sidebars, and... it was totally WICKED!!

*is so damn easy to please, it's pitiful*

I'm actually clicking pages just so I can click the "Reader" button and read them!!!

Yes, yes, I'm a ditz, I know it. Bite me.

WANT!!

OMG, I am a geek and a nerd because... I want THIS...



The Camera Lens Mug at the Photojojo Store!

I have a Tumblr account, LunchNotes from Mom that I'm working on, just putting up the lunch notes I put in the kids' and THO's lunches (it still needs a LOT of work), and I was noodling around when I saw that mug and found myself with a serious case of nerdy want.

*dies*

It's ridiculously expensive, but so realistic looking!! How awesome would it be to bring this to, say, a soccer game filled with hot chocolate or tea and blow people's minds when, instead of mounting it on my camera, I take a sip from it!!

Gosh, I'm such a nerd!!

And don't you know I would always be half in horror when it needed washing that I was putting my real zoom lens in the sink?? Instead of the mug??

Want!! Want!!

Yes, I am a sad, sad, materialistic little greedy thing...

want, want, want, want...

Because I keep busy that way...

The Impertinent Daughter has a friend, we'll call him Toast Boy. Well... actually, I think she and her friends call him "Turtle" so... perhaps I should call him that, too. Not because he is turtle-like in anyway, but he loves turtles. And the other important thing for you to know is that he is obsessed with toast.

I guess there are worse things to be obsessed with!

Anyhow, because they are good friends, and rather silly together, when Miss Priss and I were looking through the many very, very cute wearables on shanalogic.com and found this very, very cute toast scarf, she immediately said, "Oh, Turtle would loooove one of those! How much is that?"

I said, startled, "You want to buy this??"

"It would be perfect for him, Mum! He's got this thing with toast..."

So I looked at the price and promptly inhaled my tongue.

A few hearty slaps of the back later, the Impertinent One said, "Can't you make that? I mean, it's crochet, right? You can crochet that... right?"

And here is the result...



As you can see, she is as pleased as Punch with that scarf! And because she's giving it to a friend who happens to be a boy, rather than a boyfriend, we decided to make the butter pats square rather than heart-shaped. I think it turned out rather well, considering I had to make up the pattern myself!

Evidently, it's rather tasty, too...



I told her that when she gives it to him, she should ask him, "So, are we going to be friends for life or what?" And if he says yes, she should hold it out solemnly across her hands and say something like, "Then I present you with the order of the Toasty Scarf!" and drape it around his neck!

Hey, for all the work I put into it, completing it within a month, I figure some over-the-top dramatic gesture should go with it!! Would have finished it sooner if I hadn't had to undo it, and redo it until I figured out the stitches, then had more than a few minutes of uninterrupted time to work on it!! As it is, I hope she remembers to tell me how he reacted when he got it! I do know that the very idea of me making it for him (because her best friend let it slip, not knowing he was behind them when she asked about it) was enough for him to come up to me two weeks ago and introduce himself to me, squeaky voice and terror-stricken eyes and all!!

Seriously... I'm not that scary... am I??

Anyway, after telling me who he was, and why he was shaking my hand with damp palms, he made a few incoherent statements that might have been about the Impertinent Daughter's comics and drawings (I'm sure her name, comics, and cracking up were in there somewhere), he blurted something about being happy to meet me, and disappeared rapidly.

I wonder what it will be like when a boy she's dating introduces himself to me?

*dies laughing*

Anyhow, I'm done, and I'm glad! And glad it's going to Turtle, who will hopefully be very happy with it!