The State of Me...

Okay, so... let's see... I went to see an orthopedic specialist two weeks ago about my knee. Verdict, yes, I banged it up good and proper, I also have osteo-arthritis in my right knee (not unexpected, considering the way I've injured it in the past), and... at some point will need intervention. I'm too young and active for knee replacement, he could do surgery to clean out all the crunch stuff in there, but it would come back eventually (also true), or there's an injection he could give me after the inflammation and irritation calms down in my knee called "Synvisc One" that would basically replace the fluid that lubricates and cushions the joints in my knee. He's had good results with that one, and it turns out that the mom of one of Mr. Impossible's team mates has had it and said, "OMG, Auntie... get it. It's wonderful. I can move, I can walk, and it doesn't hurt!!"

You know... I was doing pretty well there for a long time. I mean, I was able to run and play with my kids, and while stairs were tricky at times, mostly, things with Rice Crispy Knee were good. Until now.

So for the time being, Dr. S. gave me a steroid injection in Rice Crispy Knee to calm down the inflammation and help with the pain, and advised me to stay off of it as much as possible, no stairs, no bending it, no kneeling, no lifting, etc., and to use a crutch when I needed to walk around.

Okay, cool, I can do that, and I promise, I've been very, very good. Very good. Except, I haven't told my mom about it because... really, she would freak for no good reason, and right now, I just can't see the point of upsetting her. Really. Besides, I really, really don't want to hear the "Marching Band Ruined Your Health, And So Did Drum Corps, If You'd Only Stayed In Swimming And If You'd Only Gone to Bellaire High School, You'd Be So Much Better Off" lecture again. I got a five year break from that one, but now that her memory isn't so dependable, she doesn't remember us settling that one so... it's being recycled. Yay.

Last week, the Impertinent Daughter turned... sixteen.

*incipient freak-out*

Have I mentioned how awesome my daughter is? May the 4th is her birthday, it's Star Wars Day, and "The Avengers" came out in the theaters. TRIPLE BONUS!!! So... we took her to San Marcos for dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant, where the Impossible Son got this in his fortune cookie...

If you can't read it, it says, "About time I got out of that cookie!"

After that, we went to the theater where I'd pre-ordered tickets and got in line. And hey, I just have to say, I really like this "ordering movie tickets online" thing, because the show was sold out!! It was awesome!! Yes, yes, I know, welcome to the 21st century, Jo.

I learned a valuable lesson that day, too. The Impertinent Daughter is absolutely NEVER allowed to ever, ever, EVER drink Mountain Dew again. As far as she's concerned, it's a controlled substance. OMG... one of her friends gave her a can for her birthday, and she was feeling tired when she got home from school. She wanted to stay awake for the movie, she said, so she decided to drink the Mountain Dew with her snack. This is around 4:30 p.m.

Holy Mackinoly, y'all, that child was wired for sound!! I mean, seriously, she talked nonstop (except when she was eating, and even then it was a close thing) from 4:35 until 1 a.m.!!!! EVEN DURING THE MOVIE.

I would shush her so I could hear the dialogue, and I'll say this for her, unless her enthusiasm got away from her, she mostly kept her voice really soft and quiet, which had irritations of it's own, because I couldn't hear her well enough to understand her!! And she tried valiently to be quiet in the car on the way home after, but... chatter chatter chatter!!! At least it mostly made sense!!

"The Avengers" was ... awesome by the way!!! Just... oh, yeah, gonna go see that again just so we can catch what we missed the first time!!!

The Impossible Son had a soccer game Saturday, and didn't play like himself at all. By Saturday evening, he had a fever of 103 F (39.4 C). That was fun. Turned out to be a virus that's blasting its way through town. The Impertinent Daughter fell victim to it Sunday night, but her temperature didn't get as high as the Impossible One's did, thank goodness. Mr. Impossible missed Monday, and Miss Priss should be back at school tomorrow.

After her doctor's appointment tomorrow, I shall retire to the couch with pillows to prop up Rice Crispy Knee with an ice pack and not do one damn thing until the kids get home from school!!!

"It was a Butler... in Pain... in a Trunk... in Cement..."

I'm fresh from a game of In A Pickle, and oh, boy, my sides ache from laughing!!

The Husbandly One and I love playing games of In A Pickle with the kids, because not only do we get into hilariously silly word strings, but... our kids learn to think on their feet, they learn to use their skills of persuasion and argument, and they learn to think creatively while justifying their choices.

It's a win-win, because while THO and I are demonstrating the skills we want our kids to learn, we're also getting a glimpse into the way they think. And, disturbingly enough, they're getting a glimpse into how we think!

So, while we started with a cheeseburger eating moose in a bedroom, the Impossible Son added that it was all in fear, and he had to justify that all of that would fit in a fear, and we had a lively (and somewhat hysterical) discussion about irrational fears, and THO wasn't quite convinced that fear of a cheeseburger eating moose was the same as the fear of being watched by a duck. However, the Impertinent Daughter chimed in that she was sure there were many Americans who were afraid of having a moose in their bedroom, and that she, herself, would be very disturbed by a moose in her bedroom, and if it were eating cheeseburgers, that would definitely cause mental scarring for life.

I had pretty much laid my head down on the table at this point, in helpless tears of laughter.

So, once Mr. Impossible, with the help of his sister, had won his case, I decided that all of this was in the mind of a girl, and I got the pickle.

We've had a great deal of fun with this game, probably more than we're supposed to, because with our geeky brains, we probably get a whole hell of a lot more mileage out of the words than most people would. Come on, seriously, how many people would look at the words, "Venus Fly Trap," in their hand and think, "OMG, I know just how to use this!!" and go on a word string that has a Reflection of a Venus Fly Trap in a Mirror on a Submarine in a Parade? Or starts cackling with glee when they see, "Nun," and end up with Ants in a Nun in a Marriage (we didn't say she was a good nun) in a Warehouse in Paris?

Whenever someone goes a little too weird or too far, the rest of us make that game show buzzer noise, "EEEHHHHHH!!!" and "No, no, no, sorry, can't have a blimp in a cat, even if the cat is as big as a house, or a toilet in an elephant, because even if an elephant is bigger than a toilet, how would it get in there? An elephant is big, but has a small mouth!"

I won't even go into the arguments to justify how a toilet can get into an elephant!!

Of course, as the game goes on, we all get more desperate to not lose a turn, and it just gets crazier and wilder until we're all laughing so hard that we can't breathe, and I just ... can't help but find it so awesome that we can all do this, that we all get to do this together. To be as nerdy and silly and just plain goofy and... life is good.

Yeah. Life is good.

Epic Adventures in Hair...

My friends... a rite of passage has been approached, and has now been navigated.

The Impertinent Daughter... has dyed her hair.

*is full of glee*

The Things We Do For Love, or Why Toe-Punching a Soccer Ball is NOT a Good Idea...

Played in a scrimmage against my son's U10 soccer team last night, Parents versus Kids, and had loads of fun. The score was even, and I think the kids learned a lot. It's one thing to tell the kids, "Spread out!" and "Move up!" and "Watch your man!" And it's another thing to SHOW them.

Heh.

Did pretty well, until nearly the end of the game when my knees decided to close shop. "We're done!" they said, and promptly vamoosed, and Auntie went all in a heap to the ground. Fortunately, muscle memory does not fail, and I rolled right up to a sitting position. If my knees had not left the building earlier, I would have come back up to a standing position! Gave the Impossible Son heart failure, though. "Mom! Mom!! Are you okay? Do we need to call 911? Are you dead? Mom?? Mom? MOM!!!"

Because I was laughing so hard, I couldn't talk!

There were a lot of funny moments. Like when The Husbandly One scored a goal and whipped off his shirt to come running down the field, arms in the air with his shirt streaming behind like a flag. One of the kids turned and looked at me and said, "Coach THO is a pretty hairy guy, Auntie!"

I laughed and said, "He's my own personal shag carpet!" and then laughed even harder because... hee... SHAG!!

*is inappropriately amused*

One of the other dads had a handicap. His three year old son wanted to play, too, but he's too small, both in age and in size. So, he scooped his son up and at first tried to play with Wee-Man on his hip. Nope. So he tried a princess carry. Nope, that didn't work, either. He finally just lifted him up to his shoulders, and Wee-Man just hung on for dear life, giggling madly while his dad went galumphing up the field after the ball.

Yes, "galumphing" is a word. I say so.

The Impossible Son threw himself dramatically to the ground at one point, saying, "I'm so TIRED!" and I pulled him up and said, "Hey, how do you think I feel! I'm old!"

One of his team mates danced by and said, "You're not old! Now my mom is nearly 28... that's OLD!! You're not even close to her age!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm 47, and struggled to keep a straight face. One of the other moms on the team, who is five years younger than me, was laughing hysterically, and said, "It must be the lighting out here!"

Well, you know, to a ten year old, anyone over the age of 20 is positively ancient.

And I toe-punched the ball on a goal kick, instead of hitting it with the inside of my foot, as I had intended. The Impertinent Daughter rushed up to me and said, "Mom!! No toe-punching! You're going to hurt yourself!!"

She was right...



Not pretty, is it. It split the side of my toe, too, and yeah, still hurts.

The things we do for love, right?

*goes off to look for more ice*

Of Midnight Movies and Geeky Mom/Daughter Bonding...

So... the Impertinent Daughter and I went and saw "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt 1" last night at our tiny local cinema.

It was hard to talk the Husbandly One into letting us go without him, but I pointed out that the Impossible Son now gets very freaked out at scary things, whether it's on TV, in the movies, or in a book, so it made sense to scout out the movie first and get a feel for whether we thought he could handle it or not.

I missed most of the ending of "Half Blood Prince," because the Impossible Son and I hadn't gotten to Dumbledore's death yet (we were still reading the book), so he was completely unprepared for it when it happened in the movie. I can't believe I was so stupid about it, but I didn't want to spoil the book for him, and had one of those, "Duh, Stupid," moments of thinking waaaay too hard and not clicking that, duh, he'll see the movie and know how the book ends!! *head-desk* I spent most of the time after Dumbledore's death holding him while he cried quietly with his face buried in my shirt and his hands cutting off the circulation in my arms. Not one of my more brilliant mom moments, no.

He very much wants to see this movie, so... I wanted to be sure and see how many "Impossible Freak-Outs" there would be, and... there's a lot. So... I'll have to balance how much he wants to see it against how many nights I want to spend several hours guiding him through pushing the bad dreams that will inevitably result away.

Anyhow, the Impertinent One and I were determined to go, so after receiving THO's blessings (and possible forgiveness for seeing it before he does), I went early to buy tickets... just in case. Small town, small movie cinema... it just pays be be prepared. I asked if they had sold a lot of tickets yet (it was almost 7 p.m.) and the cashier smiled and said, "So far, we've sold about 60, but we're anticipating selling out. There's been a lot of phone calls over the last week, and there's probably going to be a lot of people buying tickets just before we start the movie."

That sounded about right, so I paid for the tickets and hurried home, because it was getting COLD!! A front moved in last night, so the temperature was dropping, which... sort of added to the mood, you know?

Anyhow, Miss Priss and I had to repress our excitement and do our usual evening things. Eating dinner. Doing homework. Pretending to read the paper or watch TV while really watching the clock. Heh.

When it was finally time and we got to the cinema, we found that so many people had come to watch the movie that they had to open a second theater! And that one was filling up!! It was awesome!!

I had no idea there were so many Harry Potter geeks in our town!!

They had a trivia game for free movie passes, and I was polite and only answered one of the questions, and we got two free movie passes!! SQUEE!! So when (and if) the four of us go to see it a second time, two of us will go free! SWEET!!

And we had a lot of fun, too! At 14, the Impertinent One is old enough to whisper back and forth with me as we make jokes, or complain about things they changed from the book, or notice Things (Or People) That Should Not Be There, like the hapless member of the film crew who got caught in a shot during one of the forest scenes, and had to creep away through the trees in the background. That was worth a bit muffled laughter on our parts!

I do want to make one querulous complaint.

Okay, so... we see Bellatrix Lestrange in "Order of the Phoenix" in prison. She's dirty, has matted hair, torn clothes, but... her teeth are clean and quite nice. And they look even better when she shows up in the Ministry. Then we see her again in "Half-Blood Prince," and again, nice, clean teeth.

So... where the hell did the mossy, snaggly, possibly-borrowed-from-a-dental-hygiene-challenged-troll teeth come from??? I'm just sayin'...

Anyhow, we sat there for a moment after it was over, going, "WHOA!!" and just ... trying to process it all. OMG... it was... like riding a roller coaster on a cold day with a sharp wind, and you forgot your hat and your eyes are constantly watering, but you don't want to stop or close your eyes, and... WHOA!!!

And Steve Kloves? Thanks for giving Hedwig a total BAMF moment. I think I fell in love with you a little bit for that!

WHOA!!! Just... WHOA!!!

Impertinent Homecoming

As promised, the Impertinent Daughter wearing her mums...

Here she is, bright, shiny, with that million megawatt smile nearly blinding you... and wearing her homecoming mums...



Here's a detail of the mum her brother gave her (with her name edited out, of course)...



Note the soccer balls, because she's a SOCCER player. And the lion is the school mascot.

And here's a detail of the mum from her parents...



It's her first year getting mums, and you can tell she's delighted! I can't get over how quickly my girl has grown!

Life with the Impossible Son

So, we're walking out of the San Marcos Library, and the Impossible Son says, "You know what I hate about super models?"

Okay, I thought, That's a bit of a non-sequiter! I'm used to those, though, thanks to the Impertinent One. "No, what do you hate about super-models?" I said, curious.

"They complain too much!" He skipped along next to me and frowned up at me. "Always complaining!"

"Oh," I said, nodding thoughtfully. "Spend a lot of time around super-models, do you?"

He grinned and started running for the van. "None of your beeswax!" he shouted over his shoulder.

"Hey!" I said, catching up. "I'm your mother! I have a right to know if you're hanging out with super models!"

The Husbandly One and the Impertinent Daughter stared at us with puzzled frowns. "What's going on, Mum?" Miss Priss asked.

"Mr. Impossible complained about super models, and I asked if he made a habit of hanging around them without telling us and he told me it's none of my beeswax!" I said indignantly as I got in the car.

"Wow," said the Husbandly One. "That's disrespectful."

"Hey," said the Impossible Son with a casual shrug. "I have a whole secret life none of you know about! That's just the way it is. Deal."

Then later, as we headed for home, the Impossible Son piped up, "Hey, Mom, are you going to bake cookies today?"

"I'll see what I can do," I said with a sigh. "Why?"

"I want to take a few samples so I can go down to my secret lab and do more work on my formula."

"Formula?" said the Husbandly One. "What formula?"

"I'm working on a formula for mind control," said the Impossible Son, leaning back in his seat with his DSLite. "If I get it right and add it to Mom's cookies, it will help her plan for World Domination Through Cookies move forward! I'm like... her assistant. Like... a mad scientist, but... none of you are allowed in my secret lab, so don't ask!"

"Okay," said the Husbandly One dubiously. "Just don't blow anything up. I'm not sure our homeowner's insurance would cover explosions and damage from an underground secret lab."

Yes, the Impossible Son has a rich, imaginative life. I wonder if conversations like this are the reason behind some of the very strange looks we get in public? Heh, heh, heh...

Home again, home again, jiggity jog...

We got back from Rockport on Saturday afternoon, with no sunburns, broken bones, one jellyfish sting, and many shells, none with a passenger, unlike last year, when we realized we had brought home an unintended passenger, and had to make a special trip to Galveston the following weekend to set him free.

It was awfully close, though. As we were packing up to leave, one of the kids found a lone moon shell hiding in a corner of the hotel room, and when I took it and poured warm water into it, out came a wild scrabbling of small jointed limbs. So, we finished packing up, and stopped by the beach so I could set him free. At first, I set him down just in the shallow water, so he could recover a bit, but when I straightened up, I noticed a little girl edging toward me, her eyes on the shell and realized my efforts were doomed to failure if I just left him there. So, with a sigh, I went back, picked him back up, and tossed him into a nice thick patch of sea grass in water that was about knee deep. Well... knee deep for me, that is!

It was a good vacation, and I wish it could have lasted a little longer. We enjoyed ourselves thoroughly, being somewhat more adventurous this time and exploring more of Rockport than we did last time. We had adventures, and did silly stuff, like this...



I will refrain from comment...

We shopped, and I have to tell you, it wasn't as hot as it had been last year, when we were suffering through the Triple Digit Summer From Hell, but it was much, much more humid, and that knocked the heat index up into the triple digits. This made walking much steamier than last year. Ugh! Thankfully, the Husbandly One and the Impossible Son volunteered to walk our purchases back to the van, letting the Impertinent One and I stay in the shade (and mugginess) before tramping off to the next shop.



They were always disgustingly cheerful when they walked back.

We had fun looking at all the shops, bought a few things here and there. I would have liked to have bought some art, maybe some furniture, but how to transport it back? However, I did spot a shop called "Jack and the Bead Stock" that was having a huge sale on beads, etc, so, you know I had to go there and check things out! And walked out with a big bag of charms with plans for earrings and bracelets. But only after the Husbandly One twisted my arm a little and encouraged me to stock up. Still, I was very gleeful when we left, and can't wait to make some stuff!! Unfortunately, I was too engrossed in droolling shopping to take pictures, so...

We had lunch, went back to the hotel, rested, and then got ready to hit the beach. And I have to say something about BullFrog's SPF 50 SuperBlock Lotion Sunblock with Titanium Dioxide. It's probably the best sunblock they've made so far, and we've been using BullFrog since Miss Priss was in diapers! But this one, it works, it really, really works. It makes you look funky, because it's white, and it makes you look like something that's been locked in a dark basement all winter, and you've only just come out into the sun. But... you won't get burned.

I burn. Not as easily as the Blonde Sister. It takes me longer, but I burn. But... not with this stuff! It is awesome!!! Seriously, this year, nobody got sunburn. Period.

Anyhow, I digress. We went to the beach, and the kids decided, after trying to find sea shells to take home, and finding way too many occupied ones, to think outside the box and instead, collect as many hermit crabs as they could!



As you can see, they set to it with great gusto...



... and collected quite a lot!!



And the majority of the shells were very much occupied!



and not all were happy about being captured, as you can see!



A tiny sea snail must have ridden in one of the shells, because we found it trying to get out of the bowl. The Husbandly One obligingly set it in his hand so I could get a shot of it.

The Impossible Son loves our trips to the beach, and it's always a chore to get him to come out of the water when it's time to go...



"No, I don't hear anybody calling me, nope, not me, not at all. No, Mom's not trying to call me, and my sister's not threatening me with death, so... I'll just look for more hermit crabs... yeaaaaah, that's what I'll do!!"

Of course, his sister was making death threats, because she was hot, uncomfortable, and somewhat grumpy, because her moon cycle hit just before we left home, and she wasn't comfortable with the idea of swimming in the ocean while pretty much bleeding. I understand that. I did offer her tampons, but she's not worked up the nerve to try them yet, and I'm not forcing her. In her own time, you know? So, we kicked around in the shallows, made a sand castle, drew in the sand, played soccer, walked up and down the beach, talked to people, and kept ourselves occupied. However, when it was time to go back to the hotel, she wanted to go back and not wait around for a Little Bother who didn't want to get out of the water before he absolutely had to.

All in all, it was a good trip. We played in the water, went shopping, ate great food, and had interesting adventures.

There was a new Chinese restaurant just down the road from our hotel, called the Panda Bay, which turned out to be really, really good. We went for dinner on Friday night, and got a waiter who pretty much leapt to attention if I so much as twitched. And considering that I talk with my hands (everyone who either knows me or has met me in Real Life is laughing heartily right here, because they know), you just know the poor man was run off his legs!!

He seemed really, really taken with the Impossible Son and kept encouraging him to eat without pressuring him. They didn't have a menu aimed at kids, but they would do what they could to accommodate their quirks (food not touching, sauces served separately, so the kids control how much goes on their food, etc). We'd ordered a combo plate for Mr. Impossible with sweet and sour chicken, and sweet and sour pork, sans the sauce (because neither Miss Priss, Mr. Impossible, nor I can have it), and he dug into it with gusto, only pausing long enough to ask for ketchup, which the waiter obligingly provided.

Our tea never got more than two inches below the top of the glass, and I got to where I practically sat on my hands, so the poor man would pay attention to his other customers!! The Husbandly One seemed to be inexplicably entertained by all of this and asked me if I'd packed my red v-neck shirt. I asked why, and he said, "If we come back for lunch tomorrow, you should wear it. Maybe we'll get free appetizers!"

O_o???

Anyhow, we enjoyed ourselves, and have decided that we definitely need to come back, and we also need to try staying in either a beach house, or a condo or something, just for variety's sake. We also want to come during the winter for beach combing and just for something different. And visit the Aransas National Wildlife Refuge, something we weren't able to do this time.

And now to bed, and now to bed...

Picture Spam!!!

Greetings from the wilds of Rockport!!!

And yes, I have photos to post!!

Here we go...



The Impertinent Daughter, not long after we'd arrived...



The Impossible Son has sea-green eyes...



Miss Impertinent gets in a little time with the soccer ball...



We found the world's tiniest hermit crab...



The Husbandly One and the Impossible Son share a chuckle...



The Impertinent Daughter took this photo of a hermit crab in my hand...

I'm too tired to write much tonight, so I hope you enjoyed the photos!!

Love,

Jo

2 Kids, 2 Guitars...

This is what happens when you have two electric guitars in the house...





And that is your Awesome for the Day...

And yes, that is Miyavi in the picture on the door above the Impertinent Daughter's head!

Because I keep busy that way...

The Impertinent Daughter has a friend, we'll call him Toast Boy. Well... actually, I think she and her friends call him "Turtle" so... perhaps I should call him that, too. Not because he is turtle-like in anyway, but he loves turtles. And the other important thing for you to know is that he is obsessed with toast.

I guess there are worse things to be obsessed with!

Anyhow, because they are good friends, and rather silly together, when Miss Priss and I were looking through the many very, very cute wearables on shanalogic.com and found this very, very cute toast scarf, she immediately said, "Oh, Turtle would loooove one of those! How much is that?"

I said, startled, "You want to buy this??"

"It would be perfect for him, Mum! He's got this thing with toast..."

So I looked at the price and promptly inhaled my tongue.

A few hearty slaps of the back later, the Impertinent One said, "Can't you make that? I mean, it's crochet, right? You can crochet that... right?"

And here is the result...



As you can see, she is as pleased as Punch with that scarf! And because she's giving it to a friend who happens to be a boy, rather than a boyfriend, we decided to make the butter pats square rather than heart-shaped. I think it turned out rather well, considering I had to make up the pattern myself!

Evidently, it's rather tasty, too...



I told her that when she gives it to him, she should ask him, "So, are we going to be friends for life or what?" And if he says yes, she should hold it out solemnly across her hands and say something like, "Then I present you with the order of the Toasty Scarf!" and drape it around his neck!

Hey, for all the work I put into it, completing it within a month, I figure some over-the-top dramatic gesture should go with it!! Would have finished it sooner if I hadn't had to undo it, and redo it until I figured out the stitches, then had more than a few minutes of uninterrupted time to work on it!! As it is, I hope she remembers to tell me how he reacted when he got it! I do know that the very idea of me making it for him (because her best friend let it slip, not knowing he was behind them when she asked about it) was enough for him to come up to me two weeks ago and introduce himself to me, squeaky voice and terror-stricken eyes and all!!

Seriously... I'm not that scary... am I??

Anyway, after telling me who he was, and why he was shaking my hand with damp palms, he made a few incoherent statements that might have been about the Impertinent Daughter's comics and drawings (I'm sure her name, comics, and cracking up were in there somewhere), he blurted something about being happy to meet me, and disappeared rapidly.

I wonder what it will be like when a boy she's dating introduces himself to me?

*dies laughing*

Anyhow, I'm done, and I'm glad! And glad it's going to Turtle, who will hopefully be very happy with it!