Thursday, August 28, 2008

Phone Solicitors... BEWARE!!!

Okay, so after a very irritating two days of cleaning and scraping calcium deposits out of my dishwasher (trust me, you REALLY don't want to know), I was elbow deep in hot soapy water, washing a backload of dishes while trying to convince the Impossible Son that the project due tomorrow is actually homework and therefore, no, he can't go play with his buddies until he's got at least half of it done, as well as trying to keep an ear out for the Impertinent One, who is in her room for some reason, the door closed and all sorts of mysterious thumping and thunking noises going on.

Then the phone rang.

I automatically answer it now, because the Caller ID strip on our phone is burned out, and it might be my family, right? So, I answer and I hear this bright, chirpy female voice say, "Hello, my name is Veronica, and I'm with American Direct. We're opening a store in your area and if you apply for membership, we're offering you a chance to win a free gas card and a brand new truck..."

"What's the time limit on the free gas card?" I asked the second she paused to draw in a breath.


"How long will I be able to get free gas with the gas card?" I persisted.

"Um... one month," she said slowly.

"I see," I said in my starchiest, most disapproving tones. "And what's the mileage on the truck?"

"I... what?"

"How many miles per gallon?" I asked sternly (can you tell I was enjoying this thoroughly?).

"Oh... um... about 18 to 20 gallons per mile..."

"Uh-huh. So... what you're offering me is an exorbitantly high rate to join your buying club, and in return, you're offering me a very slim chance to none at all at winning a truck that only gets 18 miles per gallon, and free gas for a month. With gas at $3.53 a gallon right now."

"It's a really cool truck," she offered timidly.

"If you're going to try to scam me," I drawled scathingly, "you should at least try to make it worth my while!!"

Do you know... she hung up on ME?? Huh... I wonder why?

*smiles innocently at you all*

Monday, August 25, 2008

First Day Blues

Today was the first day of school for my kids. Poor Miss Priss. She wanted to wear a dress today, something she doesn't normally do. She's so active, and let's face it, dresses are not exactly designed for active girls. That's not to say you can't run in them, but face it, you have to be so darned careful!

She managed about ten minutes before nerves, and first day jitters did her in. I left the room to make the Impossible Son some cinnamon toast, and returned to find my daughter in jeans and a rather faded shirt I'd gotten back when I was about seventeen during a trip to Padre Island. I started to open my mouth to suggest something different, maybe less beat up, then I realized, oh... comfort clothes.

She was decidedly green when we left the house, and for a moment, I thought we'd have to turn back home. It passed however, and by the time we got to her school, though her nerves returned in full force, she managed to open the door and get out. "You'll be fine," I said, smiling encouragingly at her. "As soon as you see someone you know, you'll be right as rain."

"I love you!" shouted the Impossible Son from the back seat. "You're going to have fun today!!"

I'm not sure she heard all of it, but she did smile half-heartedly, and closed the door, waving as she turned for the school. I was worried, until one of her friends came running up, and the Impertinent One brightened visibly. I stopped worrying.

Mr. Manzie couldn't have been more different. He was excited to be going to school, couldn't wait to get there and see what was what! If he hadn't had school supplies to carry in, I'm sure he would have been perfectly happy to go in without me, but alas, he had to have Mom along.

The school's enrollment has grown to the point now that four classroom aren't enough for the second grade. They now have five teachers, and had to convert the room they were using for "enrichment" purposes to a regular classroom. He's thrilled! It was a lot of fun watching him trot into his new classroom to drop off his things, and blush for his teacher. This is going to be an interesting year!

Now I'm trying to get used to how quiet the house is. My migraine is much better (yes, I still have hair), and hopefully it will be gone soon. Perhaps a day of quiet and not having to answer thirty questions in fifteen seconds will help!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Danger, Wil Robinson

I have the migraine from hell, I'm beyond cranky, and I feel very sorry for the Husbandly One when he gets home.

I think I'll go shave all my hair off now.

I have spoken.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Left to right... right to left... oh... WHATEVER!!!

So now that I have my handy-dandy new glasses and can SEE again, I'm working my way through our Neil Gaiman graphic novel collection. One of the drawbacks to reading manga is the fact that you read it right to left. This makes reading American comics and graphic novels problematic for me, especially if I've been reading a lot of manga, mainly because of the Impertinent One. You know, "Oh, Mom, you have to read this! It's Yotsubsa, and it's so funny!!" or "Mom, Mom, look what happened to Naruto in this issue of Shonen Jump!" etc.

So, when I opened A Game of You, I opened it from the back out of habit and started reading it and thought, wait, this makes absolutely no sense to me whatsoever.

Then I thought, oh, duh, you idiot, and opened it from the front to read it properly, except... I was still reading it right to left. Took a few shakes of the head to re-set my brain.

I'm trying to work on Extraordinary Girl, but somehow, another project keeps poking its little head out at me. Something darker, and much more sensual, though it won't let me get a full look at it yet. I really shouldn't, even think of anything else while I have EG to work on, and "Ted's," as well as needing to do editing on the novel I finished.

This other project keeps rumbling things like strong rough hands, and the whisper of silky soft ropes with twists of itchy hemp mixed in, shivers, and hot breath. I wish it would give me a better look. Oh well, it will percolate away in the back of my brain until it's ready to reveal itself.

And now, time for Auntie to turn in. Sleepy-time, over and out!

Sunday, August 10, 2008


The Impertinent Daughter and I were on, looking at T-shirts, and saw one with a picture of a bottle of Ramune on it. Curious, we did a Google search, and found out it was a soft drink, then watched several hilarious YouTube videos on "How to Open a Bottle of Ramune." Because it's not like just flipping a cap off.

Then, Miss Priss suddenly realized, the "soda pop" her characters drink in her Pokemon Diamond version game was... Ramune! You can even see the little, teeny-tiny marble in it!!

*dies laughing*

Learn something new everyday, we do!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Helloooooooo, baby!

You know how when I get laryngitis, I say I sound like Louis Armstrong in Hell?

Well, this time, I have this deep, rumbling basso which will probably scare THO half to death when he gets home.

Dear Merlin in the Summerland, y'all. I sound like... Barry White.

This from a person who normally sounds like a thirteen year old girl.

I'd scream, but... I don't think Barry White would sound all that great, screaming.


I am sicker than a dog, y'all.

My throat's been sore the past couple of days, but I just figured it was (1) sinus drainage and (2) the fact they had a generic rather than Zyrtec-D at the pharmacy last time I went to buy more, and the generic just ain't doin' the job.

Then last night, it got worse, and I started losing my voice a bit, so I asked the Husbandly One to make me a hot toddy. Now, I have a very, very low alcohol tolerance, so THO is always rather careful when he makes toddies for me. I can always tell when he wants me to sleep because he'll make them a little stronger than usual, and we're both a little sleep deprived at the moment. So when I started feeling whoozy, I thought, okay, either he made this a little stronger than usual, or my tolerance level has dropped, because it's been a while since I've had anything alcoholic.

Finally, I woke him up and made him take the Impossible Son to his bed a lot earlier than I usually do, because I literally could not stay up any longer. He did, and decided to take an opportunity to get on the computer while I went to sleep. Next thing I know, I'm shivering under the covers and it feels like someone's been beating me all over with a bat. I had a FEVER!! After Advil, and a hot shower to relieve my body aches, I crawled back into bed to pass out for the rest of the night.

Now, my glands are HUGE, my throat is red and swollen, and while I have no fever at present (thanks to the Advil, again), I feel like crap. I suspect Strep.

Think I'm going to beg THO for a slushy. Because my throat HUUUUUURTS!!!

*whimpers and curls back up under the quilt*