Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Because that's the way my brain works...

So we're back after a weekend away camping, and there are things that I can't help but wonder as I walk around my house.
Like... how can there possibly be more dishes in the sink than when we left??  Because... I know there weren't that many dishes in there when we left.  What... did they breed?  CAN DISHES PROCREATE???
This might explain why, every time I think I'm actually done with the dishes, there are always more in the sink to do.  But it doesn't explain why I can't find a glass in the cabinet when I need water.
Apparently, they don't breed in the cabinet.  Water is required.
Hmmmm... disturbing...
The other thing I wonder is... why are my kids' socks always under the couch?  With the extra couch cushions?  And... is there a direct link between my dryer, where one sock always goes missing, and the area underneath my couch?  No, wait... the socks missing from the dryer are always clean... and the ones under the couch reek of Kid Pong.  So... no.
And what are the extra cushions doing under there, anyway?  Hanging out?
Why does the phone always ring when I either am up to my elbows in soapy water, or I'm cleaning the litter box?
And just where did Princess Leia get that dress she wore in the Ewok village in "Return of the Jedi?"  I mean, when she was packing for the trip to Endor, did she look at that dress and think, "Hmmmm, you know, that would be just perfect if I happen to end up in a tree village full of teddy bear people in suede!  Fabulous!!"
The world may never know....

Monday, April 1, 2013

Because I like to get their attention...

I'm at the dryer, pulling out dry towels and putting them in the basket when I hear the fridge door open.  And I know it's the Walking Stomach otherwise known as my son, so I immediately call out, "Leave the strawberries alone!  They're for lunches!"
"Not touching 'em!" my son shouts back as I hear crackling and rattling coming from the kitchen.
"Leave the blackberries alone!" I shout.
"Not touching 'em," he shouts back, sounding almost bored as more crackling and rattling is heard.
Just for grins, I shout, "And whatever you do, leave the squid tentacles alone!"
"Not touch... wait... WHAT??"  An outraged face pops up in the door to frown at me.
"Just checking to see if you were listening," I said with a grin.
Yep, still got it.