Anyhow, Aunt Nosy had been in a nursing home, and for some reason, she was told she could go live in her house again. My dad was worried about her being alone in her house, so the Blonde Sister and I were the
What else are sisters for, right?
Now, I'm not sure how it happened, but at some point, when we crept into the kitchen, calling out softly, "Aunt Ruby? Aunt Ruby? Are you there?" my sister decided to open the silverware drawer. And she frowned. "What the heck is this?" she asked, scrunching up her face as she lifted the item. I stared at it, and as she was turning it in her hands, she flicked a switch and it started buzzing. We stared at each other, and burst out laughing as we realized what it was. It was a really huge, kinda scary looking VIBRATOR!!!
Then the truly surreal part happened. A large, woebegone Labrador Retriever like dog came into the kitchen, and he was wearing these really HUGE shoes on his feet. ALL FOUR OF THEM!!! Men's shoes, and they had been taped on with duct tape!! As we stood there, clinging to each other and laughing helplessly, our aunt came in and said, "oh, hello, were you the ones knocking? I'm movin' kinda slow today, I'm SO tired, it was SO hard to tape those shoes on old Rusty!"
Seems she had taped the shoes onto the dog so burglars would think there was a man in the house! A very CLUMSY man who had ... TWO LEFT FEET!!
At that point, I woke up, probably with a puzzled frown on my face, and I thought, that's odd, I can still hear that dog trying to walk around in those shoes! Then I realized, the thumping and clunking was coming from the kitchen. Brave soul that I am, I got up to investigate, and found the cats had figured out how to open the kitchen cabinet where their food is kept, and they enjoyed that so much that they were abusing their power by opening it AGAIN AND AGAIN!!
When I finally got back to bed, it finally sank in on me just how damn funny that dream was, and I lay there laughing and laughing, disturbing the Husbandly One. He thought I was laughing in my sleep (yes, I do that, too) and started to nudge me, which made me laugh even harder. All in all, it took me a good hour to calm down enough to go back to sleep.
Which probably explains why my day today has been so surreal!