Because I do my best to keep my promises...

So... four years ago, I posted  this after I had made a soccer bet with the Impertinent Daughter.  Her coach had moved her to play forward, after several years of playing defense, and her confidence was shaky.  To boost it, I bet her that if she got a goal, I would get a tattoo.

She got a goal in her very next game, and the first words out of her mouth when she saw me were, "Mum, you're getting a TATTOO!!"

Well, it's only taken me four years to make good on that bet, but finally, here it is, designed by my own Lady Lion... the tattoo...

It's fresh, so forgive the swelling and shininess.  Still, I think the tattooist did a great job!

She's happy, and so am I.  

Ground - 1, Jo - 0

So... Saturday, the Impossible Son's U12 team had a game in Temple, which is about a two hour drive from here, and it was a very frustrating endeavor, for many reasons. Mostly because we only had 6 players, and we play 8 v 8. Most of our players didn't come because their parents decided it was "too far" and just... didn't want to go.

WTF??

Okay, so don't even get me started on that or we will be here all day while Auntie vents her spleen about idiotic soccer parents who plonk down money for their kids to play soccer... and then freak out because they have to actually go outside their comfort zone so their kid can play soccer.

Yeah, I don't get it, either.

Anyhow, the fields in Temple were extensive, and when we finally found our team, we were walking across ground that had been affected by the last bout of rains we'd gotten about a week and a half ago. I had just looked down and said, "Oh, hey, there are holes here! Better be careful, I don't want to find one the hard waaAAAAAY!!" and down I went.

*sigh*

My left ankle turned outward and actually bent so that the outside of my foot was flat to the ground, and the next thing I knew, the ground was rushing up to hit me and slammed my right knee straight down onto hard-packed soil. Right on my kneecap.

It hurt so bad, I almost threw up right then and there.

Managed to roll onto my butt and snarled, "Don't touch me! Just don't touch me!" at all the hands waving in my face. The Husbandly One was right there with me, most likely wanting to snatch me right back up, but I couldn't bear anyone touching me until I could get a handle on the pain. And you know, my right knee is my bad knee. In fact, when I pulled my capris up to look at the damage, I was half terrified I'd see my kneecap on my shin, like I did all those years ago in boot camp.

Oh, so don't want to remember that!!

Fortunately, my kneecap was right where it belonged, I had just scraped my knee to hell and gone, and knocked loose all the calcium and other crap collected on the back of the kneecap so that it felt like my knee was full of gravel.

Thank goodness I hadn't worn shorts, like I originally intended!! Or it would have been even more of a bloody mess than it was. Eeyuck!

Of course, it feels like I have a rock inside my knee now, but I'm not limping any more. Stairs are a problem, though, and this means my weekly battle with the Laundry Monster is going to be iffy. Oh well. We don't need towels and clothes, right?

Is it wrong for me to be ready for this year to be over already?

*sigh*

Adventures in Air Conditioning...

Friday was a very eventful day in our household, some good, some not so good, and some downright alarming!

I'll start off with the good. We got our central air/central heating unit replaced, and it only took one day, and while it came with its own horrors, it was a definite Good Thing.

The horrors?

Well, first off, when they pulled out the coil? Okay, one thing you should know about an air conditioning system is the coil should be kept clean. It should be flushed out and cleaned twice a year at the very least, monthly if you want to be particular. I knew this. When we had window units, this was something we did regularly because it kept them running efficiently.

With the central whole house unit, though, that's a bit trickier, and with the unit we had, it was pretty much impossible.

And it wouldn't have mattered, because apparently no one ever cleaned the damned thing! There was an inch and a half mat of... hair. And dust. And dirt. And other things it doesn't bear thinking about. The A/C guys figure that thing hasn't been cleaned since 2003, the last time it was fully serviced. We couldn't have cleaned it anyway, because it was inaccessible. What really chaps my hide? When the fan motor burned out in 2010, and the capacitor burned out last summer, one of the first things they should have done was check the coil and clean it. Because... a dirty coil will freeze over and cause the fan to work harder and eventually burn the motor out, or burn the capacitor out.

They never looked at the coil. Just asked us if we used filters regularly, and when we said yes, said, "Okay, you're good." And that was that.

O_O

Okay... so, the next thing? When they opened the intake register? There was carpet on the floor inside the intake chamber. And... it was full of dirt and MOLDY. They rolled it into a plastic bag and carried it quickly out of the house and disposed of it, then cleaned the chamber out thoroughly, even asking if I had bleach, because they hadn't expected to have to swab the chamber out. And then spent time drying it thoroughly.

No wonder I kept getting pneumonia!! No wonder the kids kept getting upper respiratory infections. No wonder the Husbandly One kept getting sinus infections!! No wonder the Impossible Son was almost constantly congested!! It makes me want to bang my head into a wall!!

Okay, so they cleaned everything, replaced it all, sealed it all, and put a ceiling in the closet where the unit is housed... no, there was no ceiling in the closet. It was open to the attic and that was a problem, too! Anyhow, there's new ductwork up there, everything's been taped and sealed, and then they turned the A/C on (because it was a warm day and the house was stuffy).

Normally, it takes about half an hour to cool the house off after turning the A/C on.

In ten minutes, I was shivering!!

I was sitting at the kitchen table, defragging the laptop and doing other maintenance on it, and nearly jumped when papers on the table started... fluttering. And I blinked when I realized I could feel air moving against my face. Mr. A/C Guy comes in and says, "How's that?"

I said, "What's that breeze? Do you still have the front door open?"

He grinned at me. "Nope. That's coming from the overhead vent."

Y'all... we've never been able to feel the air coming from the vents. Well, not from a distance. We'd have to hold our hands up to the vents to tell it was working.

Right about that moment, the wind chime I have hanging from the kitchen vent started softly chiming. It's never done that before!!

Totally AWESOME!!

And when they got the heat set up? WONDERFUL!! It's a sealed system, so no more checking obsessively to make sure the pilot light is still lit, and worrying that it's gone out every time the wind starts blowing outside. SO AWESOME!!

And the house is actually warm!! I no longer go around bundled up in the house like a little Eskimo, as THO puts it.

Totally full of WIN!!

Yes, those idiots at Mr. Blow Hard's company really screwed us. Oh, yeah, when they replaced the fan motor? They put in a super-charged fan motor, so it would work with the crappy, dirty coil and not burn out. Not only that, but they replaced the 30 amp circuit with a 40 amp without telling us so the fan would work and not overload the circuit.

Yeah, that has to be replaced. Yay.

*grumble grumble grumble*

Put all of that together and it explains why our power bills were so damn high!

But... YAY NEW SYSTEM!!!

The Impertinent One had a game Friday night, and right about the time that Mr. A/C Guy was putting the finishing touches on our system, I got a text from her. Their game, which had been scheduled for 6 pm, had been moved to 5 pm. Which meant scrambling to get food into them before game time.

Except they didn't. They pretty much had them practicing until fifteen minutes before the game, and then they had to change out and set up, and nowhere in there was there time for the junior varsity team to eat, or even text their folks to ask for so much as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So basically, they hadn't eaten since lunch.

Oh, and did I mention it was cold and rainy by that point?

Not that cold and rainy is a problem, but on an empty stomach, it is.

To say that they didn't play well would be a major understatement. We had a lot of injuries in that game, including the Impertinent Daughter.

AND I MISSED IT!!

I was answering a parent's questions, trying to keep an eye on the Impossible Son (who was living up to his name, believe me), and on the field, but I missed Miss Impertinent taking a ball to the face straight off her opponent's knee. By the time I was focused on the field again, she was on the bench. And she stayed on the bench through the rest of the first half, and part of the second half until one of the coaches noticed her face was swelling, so they sent her to the trainer, who slapped ice on it.

Her eye was swollen shut, apparently.

The Tall Blonde noticed that the Impertinent One was sitting on the trainer's cart, and after looking through the zoom lens of her camera, determined she had an ice bag held to her face. Then we heard that she had a headache, and that was all I knew until the end of the game when I was finally able to make my way to the team's bench, just in time to hear the trainer assessing her for a concussion.

O_o

So... I got her home, did my own assessment, and decided to keep her home and resting until Monday, when I could get her in to see the family doctor. She had a headache, but it wasn't severe. Her face was swollen where she'd been hit by the ball, but had improved by the time we got home, and she was fairly steady on her feet. By Sunday, though, she couldn't walk a straight line if her life depended on it. And she was sleepy. We kept an eye on her, and I got her in to see the doctor first thing on Monday.

The physician's assistant did her assessment and said, "CT scan time!" The verdict? A mild concussion, so she's benched by the doctor until the 10th, and benched by the district's concussion protocol until the 17th, provided she passes the trainer's assessment.

I'm glad of this, because when I was in high school sports, their concussion protocol consisted of, "Can you still see? Can you still stand up? Okay, rub some dirt on it and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!"

In other words, unless you were bleeding out your eyeballs and nose, you were fine to play, especially if you were one of the better players.

I'm glad this is no longer true!

Still, the coach looked like she was sucking on a lemon someone had found in the garbage when we let her know. Oh, well, my priority is my kid, not the coach's happiness.

So, new CA/CH unit - YAY!!

Mild concussion - BOO!!

And there you go!

Shout It Loud!!

The Impertinent Daughter had an AWESOME game tonight!! And Junior Varsity won their game, 3 to 0!! She had two truly sweet corner kicks and many assists, and omg, y'all... she was so fast tonight!! I'M SO PROUD!!!

*dance of joy, dance of joy*

GO LADY LIONS!!!

LIFE. It Happens.

Can I just... step off the roller coaster for a few minutes? Kinda feeling dizzy... just a bit.

Let's see, we're having to replace the central air/central heating unit in our house because (1) it has reached the age where there are no spare parts available any longer and (2) even if there were spare parts available, it wouldn't be safe to fix.

*sigh*

Yeah, that was fun. The guy who came to repair it works for the company who installed it in the first place some twenty years ago, and after first telling me what needed fixing and how much it would cost, then telling me the parts that needed fixing needed to be replaced, then telling me they don't make those parts any more, I got to deal with the blustering, Good Ol' Boy owner of said company. Mr. Good Ol' Boy took one look at me and decided that I was the type that could be easily manipulated into what he wanted me to do, and proceeded to try to intimidate me into agreeing with him that his company should be the ones to do the work.

Y'all know that went over like a lead balloon, right?

Funny how Mr. Blow Hard and his tech went all through the closet where the CA/CH unit is housed, with Mr. Blow Hard taking measurements and loudly telling his tech that they'd have to rip out the wall, and probably part of the floor to put in a new coil, and he would recommend a contractor to rebuild the wall after they were done replacing the unit, blah, blah, blah, and it never occurred to him that I was texting the Husbandly One basically a blow by blow account of what was going on while I sat quietly at the kitchen table with the laptop. Mostly, Mr. Blow Hard shouted out a series of arcane numbers that I'm guessing were supposed to be measurements of some kind, or maybe it was just supposed to impress me with how technical he was...

When he finally "presented" me with his "findings," I said politely, "Well, I'll discuss this with my husband, and we'll let you know what we decide."

He frowned, then smiled indulgently and looked at his tech, nodding as he said, "Oh, right. You'll discuss this with your husband." He snickered. "You mean, you'll ask him what to do and then do what he tells you."

Yeah, that pretty much made me see red, but I just raised an eyebrow and said, "No, I mean I'll discuss it with my husband. We're partners. Neither one of us makes big money decisions on our own. We talk it out, go over the pros and cons, and go from there. Sometimes he has the final say, sometimes I have the final say, but either way, it gets discussed, we do research, and decide how big a hit our budget can take, because it affects both of us. So when I say we'll discuss it and let you know, that's precisely what I mean. You have a problem with that?"

"Well, if you go with us, you won't have to pay the service fee for this visit," Mr. Blow Hard said, still trying to work the intimidation factor. "But if you go with someone else, I'll have to send you a bill for $85."

"That's fine," I said with a sweet smile. "We'll let you know."

"You should decide soon, because we might be booked up," he said as he headed for the door.

"We'll take that chance," I said firmly. "Bye now."

Yeah, that was fun.

We called a couple of companies, but decided on one recommended to us by the Tall Blonde. What settled it was (1) he got back to us and (2) he didn't just look at the main unit. He also went up into the attic to check the ducts and connections, and went under the house to check the coil and the drains. He was very patient with my questions, and also cleared up a mystery that's been driving us crazy for some time now.

Every time the A/C or the heat came on, I'd smell this... faint burning odor that made the back of my throat burn, and would sometimes set my asthma off. We had the unit checked several times because of this, but there was never anything we could find to explain it.

Then Mr. A/C guy takes a look at the duct work and peers up at the top of our unit and goes, "Huh."

Yeah, that's not a good sound, either.

Seems that when Mr. Blow Hard's company installed the unit, they used a type of duct work that has since been banned in our country because it's... well, basically a piece of crap. And when all the new ductwork was installed, they left this original duct work in place where the unit connects to it all. Basically, what happens to the crap duct is that it dries out and starts cracking, then dry rots and gets blown about in the system. That's what I've been smelling every time the unit comes on.

Mr. A/C said, "What I don't understand is why they left it there. Because even if the new duct wouldn't fit, there's a way to work around it and adapt it, so... why leave the old stuff? It's not safe!"

Well, judging by the crap unit Mr. Blow Hard wanted us to buy, I'd say it was done to cut corners. After all, how many homeowners actually look up into their attic to see what they've got up there? And how many of those that do would know what to look for or what they're even looking at?

We're fortunate that the weather has been mild, though the first three or four nights after we lost our heat were tough, because it got down in the thirties. Thank goodness for lots of blankets!! This house holds on to the cold like you wouldn't believe, and I've had to open the windows during the day just so I can feel my fingers!!

The Impertinent Daughter's team survived a three day soccer tournament over last weekend, and so did we! Again, in San Marcos at the fields where the Impossible Son and I froze our katooshies off. And, yes, it was cold, but not as cold as last year! Friday night, they were in first place, but by Saturday afternoon, because of the bizarre point system the folks who were running the tournament were using, the JV found themselves playing for third.

I'm still not sure where we placed, because every person I've asked have said something different. Personally, I think they placed pi.

Hey, it makes about as much sense as that point system!!

And the Impossible Son has started soccer practice for the rec league this week, which is going to be frustrating, I can tell already. Why? Because once again, there weren't enough coaches for the record FIVE U12 teams that were formed this season, so they basically started grabbing any warm body. And one of the warm bodies is the woman who is coaching my son's team.

I have nothing against her. She's a good person, I've known her since the Impertinent Daughter started playing soccer, and now her daughter and mine are playing JV for the high school. It's cool. However... she's never coached soccer before in her life and has no idea where to start. The good news is, she knows this, and has enlisted the help of several girls on the high school team, as well as any parents who have any sort of know how, or is willing to help out. This can work, I've seen it work before.

I've also seen it go to hell in a handbasket.

So... I'm hoping and keeping my fingers crossed that things will go well. However, the Husbandly One and I have decided this will be Mr. Impossible's last season playing here. If he plays rec league next fall, it will be in San Marcos.

And that is the State of Jo so far. Woo.

YAAAAAY, IMPOSSIBLE SON!!

He got FOUR GOALS in today's game, tying it up!

YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

*does cartwheels and terrifies the cats*

The Things We Do For Love, or Why Toe-Punching a Soccer Ball is NOT a Good Idea...

Played in a scrimmage against my son's U10 soccer team last night, Parents versus Kids, and had loads of fun. The score was even, and I think the kids learned a lot. It's one thing to tell the kids, "Spread out!" and "Move up!" and "Watch your man!" And it's another thing to SHOW them.

Heh.

Did pretty well, until nearly the end of the game when my knees decided to close shop. "We're done!" they said, and promptly vamoosed, and Auntie went all in a heap to the ground. Fortunately, muscle memory does not fail, and I rolled right up to a sitting position. If my knees had not left the building earlier, I would have come back up to a standing position! Gave the Impossible Son heart failure, though. "Mom! Mom!! Are you okay? Do we need to call 911? Are you dead? Mom?? Mom? MOM!!!"

Because I was laughing so hard, I couldn't talk!

There were a lot of funny moments. Like when The Husbandly One scored a goal and whipped off his shirt to come running down the field, arms in the air with his shirt streaming behind like a flag. One of the kids turned and looked at me and said, "Coach THO is a pretty hairy guy, Auntie!"

I laughed and said, "He's my own personal shag carpet!" and then laughed even harder because... hee... SHAG!!

*is inappropriately amused*

One of the other dads had a handicap. His three year old son wanted to play, too, but he's too small, both in age and in size. So, he scooped his son up and at first tried to play with Wee-Man on his hip. Nope. So he tried a princess carry. Nope, that didn't work, either. He finally just lifted him up to his shoulders, and Wee-Man just hung on for dear life, giggling madly while his dad went galumphing up the field after the ball.

Yes, "galumphing" is a word. I say so.

The Impossible Son threw himself dramatically to the ground at one point, saying, "I'm so TIRED!" and I pulled him up and said, "Hey, how do you think I feel! I'm old!"

One of his team mates danced by and said, "You're not old! Now my mom is nearly 28... that's OLD!! You're not even close to her age!"

I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm 47, and struggled to keep a straight face. One of the other moms on the team, who is five years younger than me, was laughing hysterically, and said, "It must be the lighting out here!"

Well, you know, to a ten year old, anyone over the age of 20 is positively ancient.

And I toe-punched the ball on a goal kick, instead of hitting it with the inside of my foot, as I had intended. The Impertinent Daughter rushed up to me and said, "Mom!! No toe-punching! You're going to hurt yourself!!"

She was right...



Not pretty, is it. It split the side of my toe, too, and yeah, still hurts.

The things we do for love, right?

*goes off to look for more ice*

Epic Post of Epicness!!!

SHE GOT A GOAL!!!



*dance of joy, dance of joy, dance of joy*

It was BEAUTIFUL!!! There was a big, blustery cold front blowing in, and our team had the advantage of the wind in the first half. Miss Impertinent saw her chance, lofted the shot up and over the head of the keeper and STRAIGHT INTO THE GOAL!!! It was EPIC!!!

AND I NEARLY MISSED IT!!!

I had Erin's 3 year old son in my lap, my head bent over his as I tried to understand what he was telling me, and suddenly, she grabbed my arm, yanked, and said, "LOOK, JO!!" and I looked up just in time to see it!!

They lost, 2 to 1, because the other team had the advantage of the wind, and we lost our goalie to a band concert at half time, but STILL!! It was AWESOME!!!

The Impertinent Daughter's first words to me when she saw me after the game?

"Mum, you're getting a tattoo!!!"

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!

See Max's Girl Run

Okay, y'all are going to have to put up with some more soccer gushing, but this time will be a little different.

Y'all know the Impertinent One has been playing soccer since she was seven, right? Wanted to start her when she was four or five, but the Husbandly One was convinced she was too tiny and would get hurt. I kept pushing, and finally, he said we could try it out and see how she did.

Why did I want her to play soccer?

Well, see, our Labrador Retriever, Max, was such a ball dog. We'd had him since we were first married, and spent a lot of time throwing tennis balls, Frisbees, kick balls, and any other kind of ball we had around for him, and he'd fetch and bring it back, or knock it around and then knock it to us... he was very playful, and we sort of got into the habit of inventing games to play with him. Then one day, THO found a soccer ball and brought it home, and thus began Max's life as a Soccer Dog.

THO spent a lot of time running around, kicking the ball with Max, and Max would knock it back to him and it was pretty damned funny. And amazing.

Did I mention Max waited five years for us to have a kid? And when we finally did, the first thing he did the day we brought her home was drop a ball in her crib and wait patiently for her to throw it back?

The day she finally did was the happiest day in his life.

Okay, so skip forward to when she was finally upwardly mobile and could run. We still kept a variety of balls around for Max (and for Miss Impertinence, too!). And they played, running around the yard constantly.

The inevitable happened. Max taught the Impertinent Daughter how to play soccer. And he always played in a take-no-prisoners kind of way.

She learned well.

Okay, so, the Impertinent One went to her first soccer practice and took to it like a duck takes to water. She was the smallest kid on her team, and I had my moments of "Oh, maybe THO was right," but then she'd play just the way Max taught her and I'd stop worrying.

Then she had her first game, and THO, who had missed the practices, came to watch. There were several kids on the other team who were like... twice her size, and I could see THO was nervous when she went on the field to play. Then this kid, who was HUGE compared to her, loomed over her as she came running up the field with the ball, actually lifting up his arms like he was going to do a "Hulk, smash!!" kind of thing, and I could see THO was ready to race onto the field to save her...

She looked up at him, smirked, then plowed him to the ground with one shoulder and blitzed right past him like he didn't weigh a thing, passed to one of the other forwards, and bam! it was a goal.

I looked up at THO, trying not to be smug, and he was staring after her with this sort of befuddled, totally besotted look on his face, full of shock and admiration, and he suddenly shouted, "THAT'S MY GIRL!! YOU GO, IMPERTINENCE!!"

And that was that.

Well, somewhere along the way, probably when she was about ten or eleven, she started losing her confidence. Mostly after she started playing under the coach she'd had her first season, whom she really liked. He called her his Trooper, because she was always willing to play, even when she was hurt, and he could count on her to set up the ball for shots on goal. Then... he started not playing her as often. He'd bench her, or put her in and take her out after a few minutes. By the last season she played with him, it was starting to tell on her. She started playing in a very tentative sort of way, and flinching when the ball came at her, or when boys looked like they were going to bump her. The coach moved her to midfield, and by her last season, had moved her to defense. She stayed at midfield and defense for the next two levels she played at, and again when she played for the junior high, though she slowly started getting her confidence back. By the time she was playing for the junior high, she was playing aggressively again.

When she started at the high school, after making the team, the coach told her she would play her at midfield, but mostly, she wanted Impertinence to play forward.

"I can't play forward!" she wailed to me. "I'm not fast enough!! I can't run like that!"

"Yes, you can," I said, because I know her, right?

"No! I'm too chunky, look at my legs, they're too short!!"

"You do a lot better than you think you do," I said firmly. "And it's not just speed, honey. It's knowing where to be and when to be there, and you are very good at that. And you're fast enough when you want to be," I added, thinking, you're pretty damn fast when your brother has something you don't want him to have, and you want it back!

Admittedly, the first game she played as a forward, she looked totally lost, but... she nearly got a goal. By the time they played in the tournament in Hays, she'd figured things out, and was starting to enjoy it.

Last night, she came full circle.

I almost missed her first shot at goal. I was grumbling at my camera, trying to adjust the settings because it wasn't cooperating with me, and the Tall Blonde grabbed my arm and practically physically turned my head for me and I was just in time to see her, right there, zipping between Bastrop players like they weren't even there, and then she was there, the keeper wasn't and BAM that ball was flying into the goal. The keeper made a desperate last second lunge and managed to hit the ball with the tips of her fingers just enough to change the trajectory and the ball hit the pole and flew out.

I couldn't even make a sound!, I just sat there with my hands plastered over my face.

I could just swear that when she went zipping down the field, slipping between those other girls... there was a big goofy black dog running right next to her.

It was like I was seeing her in that first game, that same fierce joy, the determination, the "Ha-ha-ha, this is my game, you're playing on my field, and I'm gonna get that ball!!" that had been missing since she was eleven... and it was so wonderful!!

She's found her speed again, too.

And that's why I spent most of the game with my hands either clutched under my chin or plastered over my face, why I could barely squeak at times, because seeing her like that again was so extremely wonderful, it was almost unbearable.

I think she's going to be just fine now. I really do.

OMG SQUEEEEEE!!!!

OMG, y'all, the Impertinent Daughter had the most EPIC game ever tonight!!!

*flailflailflail*

The coach has been playing her as a forward, which really freaked her out at the beginning of the season, but she's settling into it and OMG, she nearly scored three times tonight, not to mention this totally epic steal/recapture/jockey/resteal/shoot sequence she had... it was... OMG, I was so breathless from yelling that I was squeaking!!!

I finally had to sit down with my hands over my mouth, because, omg, it was like seeing her when she first started playing, so fierce and take no prisoners!!!

Oh, the Lady Lions JV had such an awesome game, and though they lost 1-0, they actually had more shots on goal than their opponent did! And the one goal the Bears got was a complete accident on both their and our part. But STILL!!!

*is thrilled liek whoa*

Oh, yeah, did I mention? The Impertinent One and I have a bet. If she gets a goal, I have to get another tattoo.

Looks like she really, really wants me to get a tattoo!!

I'm gonna be so hoarse tomorrow from all the yelling and squeaking, but, oh, so worth it!!

I'M SO PROUD!! Bet y'all couldn't tell at all, right?

Just to show you how devoted I am...

That's yours truly, and the Impossible Son, freezing our asses off in San Marcos while watching the Impertinent Daughter and the rest of the Lady Lions junior varsity squad play soccer.

It was 26 F, and the wind chill was 0, baby!! I still can't feel my face, and next time? I'm wearing those insulated pants hunters wear, because OMG, my legs! Even in thermals!! I was one frozen little Auntie, and Mr. Manzie was one frozen little popsicle boy, I tell you for TRUE!!

... and apparently, the cold brings out my inner Cajun

They lost, 1 to 0, but hey, they held them to 1 point! Miss Impertinence played the entire game! I'm so proud of her!!

And now, I'm crawling back under the covers to thaw out. That, and drink gallons and gallons of hot tea.

Portrait of a Lady Lion...

Y'all wanna see the Impertinent Daughter in her soccer uniform?

Wanna, wanna, wanna??

OKAY!!! You twisted my arm!



Yep, there she is, a high school soccer player. *wince* Yeah, I'm still trying to get used to saying it. She's in high school.



This is their cold weather practice gear, because their season opens in a week and it's... cold. And yes, there's a white uniform as well...



She's excited. And I know she can't wait for the season to start. The Tall Blonde and I have been working hard, trying to make sure both the Impertinent One and Super Goalie have the right cold weather gear for games, though the Tall Blonde said rather wryly, "You know, really, the girls will be all right. I mean, they'll be running around on the field, so they'll be plenty warm. It's us that'll be freezing to death, sitting up in the stands!"

She's got a point.

Maybe I should stop looking for running tights for the Impertinent One, and start thinking heavy thermal underwear for me. I mean, I already suffer from Personal Winter, can y'all imagine actual winter on top of it?? Yes, I'll be the shivering lump of coats, scarves, hats, and three blankets, and all you'll be able to see of me is two gleaming eyes and two small wizened hands, desperately clutching a thermal mug full of hot tea!!

At least San Angelo isn't on the schedule this year! A friend with a senior daughter told us that when they played San Angelo two years ago, it was -2 F, and it was snowing. This isn't a big deal anywhere else, but... we're talking about Texas, where snow is a sometimes/not very often thing. I think the girls had fun playing soccer in the snow, but the parents were frozen solid by the end of the game!

Here's to an interesting soccer season, and staying warm!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

YES, YES, YES!!!!!

*dance of joy, dance of joy*

WE WON!!!!

WAY TO GO, GUYS!!!!

What the...????

The ref in the U.S. vs Slovenia game? YOU SUCK!!!

You know, it's pretty sad when even your LINE JUDGES don't agree with your call. WE WERE ROBBED!!!!

*snarl snarl snarl HOWL HOWL HOWL*

At least we tied, but... AAAAAUUUGGHHHH!!!!!!

Waka Waka (This Time for Africa) (The Official 2010 FIFA ...

Don't forget, US vs England on Saturday at 1:30!! GO USA!!

The Pong, Part Deaux

I had a very good reason for appealing for all of y'all's help the other day, and thank you, those who answered me. I've figured out what to do for the shoes... now to figure out how to deoderize the shin guards, which have reached degrees of awfulness that would boggle the human mind.

I had noticed this... odor... floating through the house. It was oddly familiar, and yet... I couldn't place it. It was driving me nuts though, and I kept looking and looking for the source, because it got stronger, and stronger, and worse and worse, until I began to dread that something had died under our house, something large like... an elephant. A large, semi-decayed elephant must have died under our house after being force-fed Limburger cheese... and sauerkraut. With onions. At high tide. On a manure pile. You get the picture.

The Husbandly One joined me in my quest, walking around the house, sniffing, frowning, lifting things, thinking maybe one of the kids (possibly the Impossible Son) had left a food bomb somewhere, even after all our lectures about throwing things in the garbage, etc. Or maybe one of the cats had killed a rat/mouse/rodent of unknown origin and it was rotting next to the elephant.

I pretty much stumbled over the answer. I was walking through the hall between my kids' rooms, and fell over the Impossible Son's shoes, shinguards, and socks, which he had let fall in a little pile against the wall. I started to walk past it when the central air came on, and I paused to look back at the little pile, frowning. Took a minute for it to click. They were all lying in a little pile RIGHT UNDER THE INTAKE VENT!!! In other words, there they sat in a reeking little pile, emitting nearly VISIBLE clouds of eau de PONG, and IT WAS BEING SUCKED INTO THE AIR CONDITIONER AND CIRCULATED THROUGH THE HOUSE!!!

*shriek*

You bet your BIPPY, I picked the pile up, dropped it in the laundry room, then went to open the windows and air out the house!!

I think I would have preferred the dead elephant!!

The Pong

All right, you lovely folks who live where soccer...er... excuse me, FOOTBALL is as ubiquitous as baseball is here... I need your help. I need your help with... the Pong.

Yes, that's right, that's what I said. The Pong.

It's the shin guards and the cleats. Oh my gods, they have like... a life of their own. I've tried Febreeze, and the Pong takes the Febreeze by the neck and beats the shit out of it. After a game, when my kids take off their socks, shin guards, and cleats, the Husbandly One and I frantically roll down the windows and hang our heads outside while our eyes water and our lungs try to escape our bodies. Dear Merlin in the Summerland, it's... it's... awful. Please, please, please tell me y'all have a solution that doesn't involve a bonfire?

Or a flamethrower? HazMat suits?

Can I just throw the shinguards in the washing machine? Alone? I mean, I don't want to pass the Funk along, if you know what I mean. But...their shoes, oh, geez.... it's just... horrifying.

I don't think there's enough deoderizer on the PLANET!!! The Pong is starting to take over. The cleats and shinguards are no longer welcome in the house.

*shudders*