Thursday, April 2, 2009

"Because when I arrive, I bring the fire..."

The Impertinent Daughter has her first soccer game today. Her first game playing for her school, that is.

Remember how I said there were about 33 girls trying out for the 7th grade and 8th grade teams? Well... no one's been cut... yet. I think the coaches want to see how they do in this first game, and then decide.

*massive roll of eyes*

Miss Priss is going to play fullback and... middle sweeper?? I think that's the term her coach used. Oh, and forward. Her friend, B, is going to be goalie, which is a good thing, because while B may be the poster child for Stereotyping Blondes, she's a wickedly brilliant goalie. She's tall (meaning taller than me), thin, with excessively long legs that tend to fold up on her unexpectedly. She's very fast, can run forever, and you'd think she'd make an excellent forward or striker, because she's very focused and aggressive (on the field), but... there's the legs-folding-up thing. So, she's a goalie, and I have to say, in watching her play over the last four years, I've watched her do things she should not have been able to do.

Anyhow, this game should be interesting, simply because there's going to be about 16 girls sitting on the bench, and I think they play 11 v 11. Miss Priss said, "It's going to be weird, having subs." Because usually, playing in the rec leagues, we don't have enough kids on a team for more than one or two substitutes. She's gotten used to playing an entire game without a break.

Oh, and did I mention, she has to stay after school? They're not allowed to come home and eat and get ready, etc. They have to hang around at the school until the game starts at 5:30!! Meaning... they'll not have eaten since lunch. And no, the school is not going to provide a snack.

I should have realized, since the junior high is stupid about so many other things, that they'd be stupid about this, too. Apparently, they think the kids are going to either forget about the game and not come, do something vile to their uniforms in the interval between the end of classes, and arrival at the school for the game, eat something totally unsuitable and vomit during the game, or... hell if I know!!!

So, I packed a snack bento for Miss Priss along with her lunch bento. And if the coaches complain, they will bring the Wrath of Auntie down upon them. Because how the hell they expect the girls to play two 30 minute halves on NO FOOD since 11 a. m., I don't know. No wait... two 45 minute halves.

Sorry, I had to pause and let my blood pressure go down.

There are at least six girls on Miss Priss' team who have been in the rec league, that she's played on a team with at some time or other. I think I'll get together with their parents and see if they would like to approach the coaches with a "What the hell do you think you're doing??" argument, but phrased much more politely, and see if we can't rectify the situation. You know, along the lines of, "Do you want us to rotate and bring team snacks for the girls to eat before the game or during half-time? You see, we're pretty used to doing that, anyway, because our kids have been playing soccer for a long time..." yada, yada, yada.

Otherwise, I don't see how we can keep them from crashing, if you know what I mean! Otherwise, I'm going to find myself sneaking Miss Priss a Hershey bar or something to keep her charged.

*rolls eyes*

Oh, and yesterday's prank on THO was a huge success!! I waited until after I was sure he was at work, and I called him. He said he had set his phone on his desk, and when he heard it, he looked around, thinking, "Whose phone is that?"

One of his co-workers said, "THO, I think that's your phone."

He said, "No, it's not. Mine has a kind of samba ring-tone."

Another co-worker said, "No, dude, that's your phone."

He said, "Can't be. Where's that coming from?"

They said, "That's your phone!!"

He said, "Holy cow, that is my phone!" and answered it, but it had gone to voice mail at that point. He saw it was me and called me back, and I was laughing so hard when I answered it that he knew who had done it.

*dies again*

Then... as I said, I'd emailed friends and family to call him, and his phone rang all day long!!

I have to say, this is the best April Fool's Day prank I've ever pulled on him!!

Of course, he said, "Vengeance is a dish best served cold."

*dies laughing again*

We'll just see about that!!

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