Thursday, August 28, 2008

Phone Solicitors... BEWARE!!!

Okay, so after a very irritating two days of cleaning and scraping calcium deposits out of my dishwasher (trust me, you REALLY don't want to know), I was elbow deep in hot soapy water, washing a backload of dishes while trying to convince the Impossible Son that the project due tomorrow is actually homework and therefore, no, he can't go play with his buddies until he's got at least half of it done, as well as trying to keep an ear out for the Impertinent One, who is in her room for some reason, the door closed and all sorts of mysterious thumping and thunking noises going on.

Then the phone rang.

I automatically answer it now, because the Caller ID strip on our phone is burned out, and it might be my family, right? So, I answer and I hear this bright, chirpy female voice say, "Hello, my name is Veronica, and I'm with American Direct. We're opening a store in your area and if you apply for membership, we're offering you a chance to win a free gas card and a brand new truck..."

"What's the time limit on the free gas card?" I asked the second she paused to draw in a breath.


"How long will I be able to get free gas with the gas card?" I persisted.

"Um... one month," she said slowly.

"I see," I said in my starchiest, most disapproving tones. "And what's the mileage on the truck?"

"I... what?"

"How many miles per gallon?" I asked sternly (can you tell I was enjoying this thoroughly?).

"Oh... um... about 18 to 20 gallons per mile..."

"Uh-huh. So... what you're offering me is an exorbitantly high rate to join your buying club, and in return, you're offering me a very slim chance to none at all at winning a truck that only gets 18 miles per gallon, and free gas for a month. With gas at $3.53 a gallon right now."

"It's a really cool truck," she offered timidly.

"If you're going to try to scam me," I drawled scathingly, "you should at least try to make it worth my while!!"

Do you know... she hung up on ME?? Huh... I wonder why?

*smiles innocently at you all*

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