Why do I even ask?

Item one: The Impertinent Daughter's coach has given her a nickname. Because her name is too hard to remember/say.

Japan.

Yes, that's her nickname. Japan. Because... she's into manga, is learning to speak Japanese, etc.

Oh, boy. So... I disciplined myself to not yell her childhood nickname at soccer games ("OMG, Mum, that is SOOO embarrassing!!") and trained myself to use her "new" nickname, which was "Cat."

Until some boys in junior high started calling her "Cat Williams" or tried to imply she was the type to sleep around, like a cat.

Uh-huh.

So now... I'm supposed to train myself out of calling her "Cat" AND the childhood nickname (which I fall into in moments of great excitement), and now start calling her "Japan?" Do I have enough brain cells left to do this??

Guess I'd better round some up, right?

Item two: When the Impertinent One was but a babe in arms, her papa and I found, to our great dismay, that the only way to calm her down when she was crying her head off was to sing... country and western songs. This would not have been so bad had we both been country and western fans. And while THO and I enjoy an eclectic mix of music... yeah. But... that wasn't the worst part. No, no, no.

The worst part was... she had two particular songs she loved and that soothed her best. "Boot Scootin' Boogie" by Brookes & Dunn, and... the cover of "My Maria," also done by Brookes & Dunn. I can remember one particular afternoon of walking in endless circles in my mom's living room, trying my best to warble out "Boot Scootin' Boogie" in a hoarse, over-used voice while trying to console my wailing, gas-inflicted child, and Eldest Sister walking in and nearly suffocating herself in hysterical laughter. In retrospect, it was awfully damn funny, but at the time, I was not amused!

How this is relevant to tonight? Well, I was downloading music for the Impertinent Daughter, and on a whim, played "Boot Scootin' Boogie" for her, and she sat up, eyes wide, and shouted, "I KNOW THAT SONG!! OMIGOSH, I KNOW THAT SONG!! I don't know from where, but it's so familiar, and... I KNOW THAT SONG!!!"

I'm surprised she didn't fall over sound asleep!!

I always felt rather like Murphy Brown during those years. Poor Murphy, such a huge Motown fan, and then she has a baby who will only go to sleep if she croons Barry Manilow, whom she cannot stand, to him!

Item three: I finally broke down and bought a new coat. Therefore, when I'm sitting up in the stands freezing my ass off while watching the Impertinent One play soccer, I won't be doing it in a coat older than my marriage!!