Thursday, January 15, 2015
To Chip, Or Not To Chip...
The Husbandly One and I have such awesome communication skills sometimes.
I only have two lunches to make in the mornings now, the Impossible Son's and the Husbandly One's, so it's not such a frantic thing as in the past. As such, I'm a little more relaxed in the mornings, which is a good thing, considering how creaky the autoimmune thing makes me now.
So this morning, I'm making the Husbandly One's lunch and I admit, I was a still a little under-caffeinated and moving a little slowly. Sandwich was done and it was time to add chips, so I hooked the step stool with my foot (because I'm fun-sized, yo!) so I can get to them. They are kept on the top shelf of our cabinets which are, of course, way above my head.
As I stepped up to get them, I looked over at THO and said, "You know, I had quite a fight to hang on to these chips yesterday," as I reached for the bag of sour cream and onion potato chips.
"Yeah?" he said sort of absently, because he was at the table, drinking coffee and surfing Facebook.
"Yeah," I said, pulling the bag down. "Your son discovered the bag and practically emptied the damn thing in a 'small' bowl. He's doing the 'eating everything in sight' thing again. I had to confiscate the bowl and rescue the chips!"
Both THO and Mr. Impossible love sour cream and onion chips. Thing is, where THO has learned moderation and to ration them out to himself, Mr. Impossible is still at the Hoover stage of his appetite and will eat an entire large bag at one sitting if we let him. So THO basically hid this particular bag of chips so he'd have them in his lunches this week.
I had opened the bag and was about to put some in his lunch when THO turned around and said, "Oh, we have chips at work, so you don't have to put any in my lunch. Unless you just want to."
I frowned at him. "So..."
"You can put them back," he said, watching me.
"Okay," I said slowly, rolling the bag up and clipping it, then getting back up on the step stool to put them away.
They are in my hand, about to touchdown on the shelf, when he says, "Or you could throw them in my lunch... if you want."
I stop, stare at him, then slowly start to take them back down off the shelf, preparing to unclip them again.
"Honey, we have chips at work," he said.
Breathing slowly and evenly, I don't unclip them, and start to put them back on the shelf.
"Unless, you know, you just want to put them in my lunch."
I study his face. He's not teasing me. He's entirely serious and has no clue. Okay. I start to get them down again.
"Honey, I said we have chips at work! You don't have to put any in my lunch!"
"AAAAAUUUGHHH!!! Will you make up your mind???"
THO looks shocked. "What?? What did I do??"
"We have chips at work, unless you want to put them in my lunch, but you can put them back because we have chips at work, unless you want to put them in my lunch, which one is it??" I glare at him. "I have not had enough caffeine for this!!"
Yes, he apologized, and thus he has survived to live yet another day.