You know, I haven't posted a Weird Animal Story in a while, mainly because the Killer Psycho Mockingbirds have been relatively quiet. So... I guess we were kind of overdue.
So... this morning. We troop out of the house so I can take the kids to school, and as we get to the car, I pause. Why? Because there's this huge BUZZARD, also known as a turkey vulture in the street behind my car. Just sort of... hanging out. You know. "Doopty doo, doopty doo, nothing to worry about folks, hyuk, just doin' mah buzzard thang heere, heh... don't mind me, now, y'all just... pretend I'm not here!"
Riiiiiight.
And he won't move. Usually, buzzards don't like being approached, and will take off if you get too close. Not this one. I figured whatever it was that was dead, it must be really, er... tasty. Or something. Problem was, I couldn't smell anything dead nearby, and didn't see anything, either. So, I herded the kids into the car and had to back up creatively so I didn't end up with a big ol' turkey buzzard stuck to my rear bumper. And it was as I was pulling out that I realized what had attracted Mr. Buzzard.
Our neighbors had this... this... HUGE FISH lying in their front yard against the mutual hedge between our properties. I swear the thing must have been six feet long!! NO WONDER Mr. Buzzard was so determined to stick around, I mean, he must have thought he'd hit the Mother Lode of Dead Crap!!
Okay, so... the kids were freaking out, and laughing hysterically, and kept looking back to see if he'd approached the Big Dead Fish yet the whole way up the street.
The Impossible Son looked back as we turned and said, "He's going for it!"
So... we get to the Impossible Son's school, and there is a truck in front of us that has a... tiny deer sitting on the hitch. No, seriously. A tiny little deer, sitting cross-legged on the hitch with one of it's forelegs up in the air, like it's saying, "Hi there!!"
The Impertinent One said, "Oh, I wonder if it's like the cow Papa and I saw on a truck once! When they hit the turn signal, the cow's eyes glowed red and the legs went up and down!"
"Yaaaaagh!" I said. "That sounds creepy!! And distracting!!"
The truck didn't turn, so the kids were disappointed. However, after I dropped the Impossible Son off, and then went to drop Miss Impertinent off at the high school, the truck appeared again, turning out of the driveway of one of the schools I pass on the way home, and there was the tiny deer again. This time, the truck turned, and THE DEER WAVED AT ME AND KICKED ONE LEG UP AND DOWN!!
O.O
I almost had a car accident, I was so... mesmerized...
So, when I got home, Mr. Turkey Buzzard was pecking half-heartedly at the Big Dead Fish, and I could swear he was saying, "WTF is this shit??" I peeked around the hedge and realized his problem right away.
It was a TAXIDERMIED Big Dead Fish!! In fact, it had lost most of its scales at some point, and there was fiber sticking out from where it had split at the top, and oh, the reek!!! Evidently, the bushes sort of protected us from it.
Mr. Buzzard gave this indignant squawk and sort of hop-flapped away before taking off for something less well-preserved. I mean, seriously, it's pretty bad when you manage to disgust a BUZZARD.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Four months in...
Is it just me, or is 2012 so far just... full of suck?
And we still have eight more months to go.
...
Bloody marvelous, that.
And we still have eight more months to go.
...
Bloody marvelous, that.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
The one about my mom...
You know, there comes a point in your life when you realize your parents are not immortal. Something happens, a heart attack, an accident, something that makes you realize your parents aren't bulletproof and that they are not always going to just be there. That there is going to come a point in your life that one or both of them will be gone and you'll never hear that voice again, or see those eyes watching you with amusement and love...
I faced that moment a long, long time ago.
When my dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer twelve years ago, it was scary, but I somehow knew he would survive it and live past the six month diagnosis he was given. And he did. He lived eight years longer than the doctors expected.
But I also knew when the end was coming, when he was having to go back again and again to have his esophagus dilated so he could swallow. And when they said the cancer was back, I knew he wasn't going to beat it this time.
I accepted it.
Then Hurricane Ike hit Texas and knocked out power to most of Houston, where they lived, and greatly accelerated the process. He was gone by November.
So, my mom, being a survivor, managed another year in the house she and my father had lived in for sixty some odd years, before frailty and fear made it impossible for her to live by herself. My oldest sister bought a house, and now she and Mom live together. And over the last few years, Mom has gotten thinner, has gotten smaller, and has gotten a little more vague.
My mother... is not immortal. She is very human. I accept that. And it seems over the last weeks, I've been getting more and more reminders of that fact.
She has Alzheimer's.
She has mild emphysema.
And this week, she had a mini-stroke.
She's back to her normal self now. Well, as normal as she gets these days, that is. And it's not easy, watching and hearing about it from a distance. I want to be there, but... I need to be here more. I need to be with my kids. They need me to be here with them, because to them, I'm still the Invincible Mom.
Over the last year, I've had this growing sense of Mom drifting farther and farther away from me, like I'm standing on shore, and she's standing on a boat. There will come a point where we won't be able to touch fingertips any more, and I dread that day. I dread the day when my own Invincible Mom drifts beyond my reach, when her stories and family history are gone.
I know it's coming. It may not be soon, but it's coming. I don't have to like it... but I do have to accept it.
And that's the hardest part of all.
I faced that moment a long, long time ago.
When my dad was diagnosed with esophageal cancer twelve years ago, it was scary, but I somehow knew he would survive it and live past the six month diagnosis he was given. And he did. He lived eight years longer than the doctors expected.
But I also knew when the end was coming, when he was having to go back again and again to have his esophagus dilated so he could swallow. And when they said the cancer was back, I knew he wasn't going to beat it this time.
I accepted it.
Then Hurricane Ike hit Texas and knocked out power to most of Houston, where they lived, and greatly accelerated the process. He was gone by November.
So, my mom, being a survivor, managed another year in the house she and my father had lived in for sixty some odd years, before frailty and fear made it impossible for her to live by herself. My oldest sister bought a house, and now she and Mom live together. And over the last few years, Mom has gotten thinner, has gotten smaller, and has gotten a little more vague.
My mother... is not immortal. She is very human. I accept that. And it seems over the last weeks, I've been getting more and more reminders of that fact.
She has Alzheimer's.
She has mild emphysema.
And this week, she had a mini-stroke.
She's back to her normal self now. Well, as normal as she gets these days, that is. And it's not easy, watching and hearing about it from a distance. I want to be there, but... I need to be here more. I need to be with my kids. They need me to be here with them, because to them, I'm still the Invincible Mom.
Over the last year, I've had this growing sense of Mom drifting farther and farther away from me, like I'm standing on shore, and she's standing on a boat. There will come a point where we won't be able to touch fingertips any more, and I dread that day. I dread the day when my own Invincible Mom drifts beyond my reach, when her stories and family history are gone.
I know it's coming. It may not be soon, but it's coming. I don't have to like it... but I do have to accept it.
And that's the hardest part of all.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
"It was just my imagination, running away with me...."
So, after the Impossible Son's soccer practice, it was decided to head to our favorite local Tex-Mex restaurant, Mr. Taco. We were in the mood for fajitas, or at least the Husbandly One, the Impertinent Daughter, and I were. We have discovered that Mr. Taco's "fajitas for two" plate feeds the three of us nicely. The Impossible Son had his usual chicken strips, no gravy.
We forgot that Thursdays are live mariachi band night.
Did I mention there are all hard surfaces at Mr. Taco, with nothing to absorb sound?
o_O
Anyhow, yeah, it was loud, but the food was worth it! Once we'd eaten ourselves to a lull, the Impertinent One begged a pen off me, grabbed a clean napkin, and immediately began to sketch the mariachi band members, then took it to them before fleeing back to our table.
They passed it around among themselves, looking at it intently, then marched over to our table and serenaded her with "Just My Imagination," and a Spanish/English version of "I Just Called To Say I Love You."
Her smile was incandescent, and she giggled almost the entire time, hiding her face every once in a while, but mostly beaming at them with delight. I rubbed her back from time to time when it looked like she was getting overwhelmed, but mostly? She absolutely loved it!
I think she was also chuffed that two of the mariachi singers actually fought over who would get to sing to her! And if you've never seen a violinist and a trumpet player arguing over who is gonna sing to the pretty girl, then you have no idea what you missed!
I think she's just beginning to have an inkling of the doors her art can open for her. This is going to be an interesting journey to watch!
We forgot that Thursdays are live mariachi band night.
Did I mention there are all hard surfaces at Mr. Taco, with nothing to absorb sound?
o_O
Anyhow, yeah, it was loud, but the food was worth it! Once we'd eaten ourselves to a lull, the Impertinent One begged a pen off me, grabbed a clean napkin, and immediately began to sketch the mariachi band members, then took it to them before fleeing back to our table.
They passed it around among themselves, looking at it intently, then marched over to our table and serenaded her with "Just My Imagination," and a Spanish/English version of "I Just Called To Say I Love You."
Her smile was incandescent, and she giggled almost the entire time, hiding her face every once in a while, but mostly beaming at them with delight. I rubbed her back from time to time when it looked like she was getting overwhelmed, but mostly? She absolutely loved it!
I think she was also chuffed that two of the mariachi singers actually fought over who would get to sing to her! And if you've never seen a violinist and a trumpet player arguing over who is gonna sing to the pretty girl, then you have no idea what you missed!
I think she's just beginning to have an inkling of the doors her art can open for her. This is going to be an interesting journey to watch!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Adventures in Air Conditioning...
Friday was a very eventful day in our household, some good, some not so good, and some downright alarming!
I'll start off with the good. We got our central air/central heating unit replaced, and it only took one day, and while it came with its own horrors, it was a definite Good Thing.
The horrors?
Well, first off, when they pulled out the coil? Okay, one thing you should know about an air conditioning system is the coil should be kept clean. It should be flushed out and cleaned twice a year at the very least, monthly if you want to be particular. I knew this. When we had window units, this was something we did regularly because it kept them running efficiently.
With the central whole house unit, though, that's a bit trickier, and with the unit we had, it was pretty much impossible.
And it wouldn't have mattered, because apparently no one ever cleaned the damned thing! There was an inch and a half mat of... hair. And dust. And dirt. And other things it doesn't bear thinking about. The A/C guys figure that thing hasn't been cleaned since 2003, the last time it was fully serviced. We couldn't have cleaned it anyway, because it was inaccessible. What really chaps my hide? When the fan motor burned out in 2010, and the capacitor burned out last summer, one of the first things they should have done was check the coil and clean it. Because... a dirty coil will freeze over and cause the fan to work harder and eventually burn the motor out, or burn the capacitor out.
They never looked at the coil. Just asked us if we used filters regularly, and when we said yes, said, "Okay, you're good." And that was that.
O_O
Okay... so, the next thing? When they opened the intake register? There was carpet on the floor inside the intake chamber. And... it was full of dirt and MOLDY. They rolled it into a plastic bag and carried it quickly out of the house and disposed of it, then cleaned the chamber out thoroughly, even asking if I had bleach, because they hadn't expected to have to swab the chamber out. And then spent time drying it thoroughly.
No wonder I kept getting pneumonia!! No wonder the kids kept getting upper respiratory infections. No wonder the Husbandly One kept getting sinus infections!! No wonder the Impossible Son was almost constantly congested!! It makes me want to bang my head into a wall!!
Okay, so they cleaned everything, replaced it all, sealed it all, and put a ceiling in the closet where the unit is housed... no, there was no ceiling in the closet. It was open to the attic and that was a problem, too! Anyhow, there's new ductwork up there, everything's been taped and sealed, and then they turned the A/C on (because it was a warm day and the house was stuffy).
Normally, it takes about half an hour to cool the house off after turning the A/C on.
In ten minutes, I was shivering!!
I was sitting at the kitchen table, defragging the laptop and doing other maintenance on it, and nearly jumped when papers on the table started... fluttering. And I blinked when I realized I could feel air moving against my face. Mr. A/C Guy comes in and says, "How's that?"
I said, "What's that breeze? Do you still have the front door open?"
He grinned at me. "Nope. That's coming from the overhead vent."
Y'all... we've never been able to feel the air coming from the vents. Well, not from a distance. We'd have to hold our hands up to the vents to tell it was working.
Right about that moment, the wind chime I have hanging from the kitchen vent started softly chiming. It's never done that before!!
Totally AWESOME!!
And when they got the heat set up? WONDERFUL!! It's a sealed system, so no more checking obsessively to make sure the pilot light is still lit, and worrying that it's gone out every time the wind starts blowing outside. SO AWESOME!!
And the house is actually warm!! I no longer go around bundled up in the house like a little Eskimo, as THO puts it.
Totally full of WIN!!
Yes, those idiots at Mr. Blow Hard's company really screwed us. Oh, yeah, when they replaced the fan motor? They put in a super-charged fan motor, so it would work with the crappy, dirty coil and not burn out. Not only that, but they replaced the 30 amp circuit with a 40 amp without telling us so the fan would work and not overload the circuit.
Yeah, that has to be replaced. Yay.
*grumble grumble grumble*
Put all of that together and it explains why our power bills were so damn high!
But... YAY NEW SYSTEM!!!
The Impertinent One had a game Friday night, and right about the time that Mr. A/C Guy was putting the finishing touches on our system, I got a text from her. Their game, which had been scheduled for 6 pm, had been moved to 5 pm. Which meant scrambling to get food into them before game time.
Except they didn't. They pretty much had them practicing until fifteen minutes before the game, and then they had to change out and set up, and nowhere in there was there time for the junior varsity team to eat, or even text their folks to ask for so much as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So basically, they hadn't eaten since lunch.
Oh, and did I mention it was cold and rainy by that point?
Not that cold and rainy is a problem, but on an empty stomach, it is.
To say that they didn't play well would be a major understatement. We had a lot of injuries in that game, including the Impertinent Daughter.
AND I MISSED IT!!
I was answering a parent's questions, trying to keep an eye on the Impossible Son (who was living up to his name, believe me), and on the field, but I missed Miss Impertinent taking a ball to the face straight off her opponent's knee. By the time I was focused on the field again, she was on the bench. And she stayed on the bench through the rest of the first half, and part of the second half until one of the coaches noticed her face was swelling, so they sent her to the trainer, who slapped ice on it.
Her eye was swollen shut, apparently.
The Tall Blonde noticed that the Impertinent One was sitting on the trainer's cart, and after looking through the zoom lens of her camera, determined she had an ice bag held to her face. Then we heard that she had a headache, and that was all I knew until the end of the game when I was finally able to make my way to the team's bench, just in time to hear the trainer assessing her for a concussion.
O_o
So... I got her home, did my own assessment, and decided to keep her home and resting until Monday, when I could get her in to see the family doctor. She had a headache, but it wasn't severe. Her face was swollen where she'd been hit by the ball, but had improved by the time we got home, and she was fairly steady on her feet. By Sunday, though, she couldn't walk a straight line if her life depended on it. And she was sleepy. We kept an eye on her, and I got her in to see the doctor first thing on Monday.
The physician's assistant did her assessment and said, "CT scan time!" The verdict? A mild concussion, so she's benched by the doctor until the 10th, and benched by the district's concussion protocol until the 17th, provided she passes the trainer's assessment.
I'm glad of this, because when I was in high school sports, their concussion protocol consisted of, "Can you still see? Can you still stand up? Okay, rub some dirt on it and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!"
In other words, unless you were bleeding out your eyeballs and nose, you were fine to play, especially if you were one of the better players.
I'm glad this is no longer true!
Still, the coach looked like she was sucking on a lemon someone had found in the garbage when we let her know. Oh, well, my priority is my kid, not the coach's happiness.
So, new CA/CH unit - YAY!!
Mild concussion - BOO!!
And there you go!
I'll start off with the good. We got our central air/central heating unit replaced, and it only took one day, and while it came with its own horrors, it was a definite Good Thing.
The horrors?
Well, first off, when they pulled out the coil? Okay, one thing you should know about an air conditioning system is the coil should be kept clean. It should be flushed out and cleaned twice a year at the very least, monthly if you want to be particular. I knew this. When we had window units, this was something we did regularly because it kept them running efficiently.
With the central whole house unit, though, that's a bit trickier, and with the unit we had, it was pretty much impossible.
And it wouldn't have mattered, because apparently no one ever cleaned the damned thing! There was an inch and a half mat of... hair. And dust. And dirt. And other things it doesn't bear thinking about. The A/C guys figure that thing hasn't been cleaned since 2003, the last time it was fully serviced. We couldn't have cleaned it anyway, because it was inaccessible. What really chaps my hide? When the fan motor burned out in 2010, and the capacitor burned out last summer, one of the first things they should have done was check the coil and clean it. Because... a dirty coil will freeze over and cause the fan to work harder and eventually burn the motor out, or burn the capacitor out.
They never looked at the coil. Just asked us if we used filters regularly, and when we said yes, said, "Okay, you're good." And that was that.
O_O
Okay... so, the next thing? When they opened the intake register? There was carpet on the floor inside the intake chamber. And... it was full of dirt and MOLDY. They rolled it into a plastic bag and carried it quickly out of the house and disposed of it, then cleaned the chamber out thoroughly, even asking if I had bleach, because they hadn't expected to have to swab the chamber out. And then spent time drying it thoroughly.
No wonder I kept getting pneumonia!! No wonder the kids kept getting upper respiratory infections. No wonder the Husbandly One kept getting sinus infections!! No wonder the Impossible Son was almost constantly congested!! It makes me want to bang my head into a wall!!
Okay, so they cleaned everything, replaced it all, sealed it all, and put a ceiling in the closet where the unit is housed... no, there was no ceiling in the closet. It was open to the attic and that was a problem, too! Anyhow, there's new ductwork up there, everything's been taped and sealed, and then they turned the A/C on (because it was a warm day and the house was stuffy).
Normally, it takes about half an hour to cool the house off after turning the A/C on.
In ten minutes, I was shivering!!
I was sitting at the kitchen table, defragging the laptop and doing other maintenance on it, and nearly jumped when papers on the table started... fluttering. And I blinked when I realized I could feel air moving against my face. Mr. A/C Guy comes in and says, "How's that?"
I said, "What's that breeze? Do you still have the front door open?"
He grinned at me. "Nope. That's coming from the overhead vent."
Y'all... we've never been able to feel the air coming from the vents. Well, not from a distance. We'd have to hold our hands up to the vents to tell it was working.
Right about that moment, the wind chime I have hanging from the kitchen vent started softly chiming. It's never done that before!!
Totally AWESOME!!
And when they got the heat set up? WONDERFUL!! It's a sealed system, so no more checking obsessively to make sure the pilot light is still lit, and worrying that it's gone out every time the wind starts blowing outside. SO AWESOME!!
And the house is actually warm!! I no longer go around bundled up in the house like a little Eskimo, as THO puts it.
Totally full of WIN!!
Yes, those idiots at Mr. Blow Hard's company really screwed us. Oh, yeah, when they replaced the fan motor? They put in a super-charged fan motor, so it would work with the crappy, dirty coil and not burn out. Not only that, but they replaced the 30 amp circuit with a 40 amp without telling us so the fan would work and not overload the circuit.
Yeah, that has to be replaced. Yay.
*grumble grumble grumble*
Put all of that together and it explains why our power bills were so damn high!
But... YAY NEW SYSTEM!!!
The Impertinent One had a game Friday night, and right about the time that Mr. A/C Guy was putting the finishing touches on our system, I got a text from her. Their game, which had been scheduled for 6 pm, had been moved to 5 pm. Which meant scrambling to get food into them before game time.
Except they didn't. They pretty much had them practicing until fifteen minutes before the game, and then they had to change out and set up, and nowhere in there was there time for the junior varsity team to eat, or even text their folks to ask for so much as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. So basically, they hadn't eaten since lunch.
Oh, and did I mention it was cold and rainy by that point?
Not that cold and rainy is a problem, but on an empty stomach, it is.
To say that they didn't play well would be a major understatement. We had a lot of injuries in that game, including the Impertinent Daughter.
AND I MISSED IT!!
I was answering a parent's questions, trying to keep an eye on the Impossible Son (who was living up to his name, believe me), and on the field, but I missed Miss Impertinent taking a ball to the face straight off her opponent's knee. By the time I was focused on the field again, she was on the bench. And she stayed on the bench through the rest of the first half, and part of the second half until one of the coaches noticed her face was swelling, so they sent her to the trainer, who slapped ice on it.
Her eye was swollen shut, apparently.
The Tall Blonde noticed that the Impertinent One was sitting on the trainer's cart, and after looking through the zoom lens of her camera, determined she had an ice bag held to her face. Then we heard that she had a headache, and that was all I knew until the end of the game when I was finally able to make my way to the team's bench, just in time to hear the trainer assessing her for a concussion.
O_o
So... I got her home, did my own assessment, and decided to keep her home and resting until Monday, when I could get her in to see the family doctor. She had a headache, but it wasn't severe. Her face was swollen where she'd been hit by the ball, but had improved by the time we got home, and she was fairly steady on her feet. By Sunday, though, she couldn't walk a straight line if her life depended on it. And she was sleepy. We kept an eye on her, and I got her in to see the doctor first thing on Monday.
The physician's assistant did her assessment and said, "CT scan time!" The verdict? A mild concussion, so she's benched by the doctor until the 10th, and benched by the district's concussion protocol until the 17th, provided she passes the trainer's assessment.
I'm glad of this, because when I was in high school sports, their concussion protocol consisted of, "Can you still see? Can you still stand up? Okay, rub some dirt on it and GET BACK IN THE GAME!!"
In other words, unless you were bleeding out your eyeballs and nose, you were fine to play, especially if you were one of the better players.
I'm glad this is no longer true!
Still, the coach looked like she was sucking on a lemon someone had found in the garbage when we let her know. Oh, well, my priority is my kid, not the coach's happiness.
So, new CA/CH unit - YAY!!
Mild concussion - BOO!!
And there you go!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Shout It Loud!!
The Impertinent Daughter had an AWESOME game tonight!! And Junior Varsity won their game, 3 to 0!! She had two truly sweet corner kicks and many assists, and omg, y'all... she was so fast tonight!! I'M SO PROUD!!!
*dance of joy, dance of joy*
GO LADY LIONS!!!
*dance of joy, dance of joy*
GO LADY LIONS!!!
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